Closed book
by Renascielle
Summary: "The freezing breeze hadn't disturbed her any more than his presence. They were both comfortable and familiar, both unsurprising and unstartling, and both directly related to her heart..." -Chapter 14 - SnowXLight fic -Rated T
1. Read my Lips, Read my mind

_ He gazes at me from accross the room, _

_ His blue eyes twinkling with a hint of gloom,_

_ His face motionless, lost in thought, _

_ He's so very scared of being caught. _

_ Alone in the Light_

I never thought i felt something for her. Up until now she was just Light : futur sister-in-law and total bad-ass. It wasn't fair on either of us but I couldn't just let her leave...

The day of the "accident", we had just escaped a hole groupe of sanctum soldiers. Lake Bresha was surrounded by the damn army. We'd been walking around for a week just trying to get out of that place, get away from them. That, was easier said than done. The Pink haired girl and the whiny kid were getting on our nerves. I could understand Light's frustration. Every little thing seemed to tick her off : every joke, every smile, every word. We'd set up camp next to some old airship scrap metal and started a fire. The glow it produced annoyed her, she said it hurt her eyes even though it was but the tiniest spark. Silence reigned over the Lake and _that_ annoyed Light. When Sahz started breathing heavily in his sleep she threw a piece of metal at him. I stayed awake with her to make sure she didn't poison us while we rested. I was so tired,but I wasn't going to let her do something crazy. When I yawned, she kicked me and told me to "go to hell". She was just sitting there, glaring at me with a sour face. I was scared to talk to her in case she stabbed me. So we just sat for hours looking at each other like a couple of weirdos.

The morning finally came so we packed up our things and headed south to a temple we'd spotted. We decided to split up since we had no idea where it actually was. The old guy went West with the kids and me and Grumpy headed Est. We didn't talk much. Okay that's a lie, we didn't talk _at all_ ! Up ahead we spotted a bunch of soldiers, Light said they were PSICOM. It wasn't the best news but at least she spoke to me. They were a good fifty meters away, but still Lightning wanted to go and fight them. We didn't stand a chance, L'cie powers or not. There was around thirty of them and they had these_ huge_ guns.I'd had enough of her acid tongue so i confronted her. -"Lightning what the hell's the matter with you ! Do you have a death wish or something ! You've been cranky all day !" I didn't know if "cranky" was the right word to use but what was done was done. She looked at me. She looked mad, _really_ mad

. -"If you wanna live, you fight ! Just leave it to me you so called hero." She ran in their direction. Thankfully i grabbed her arm and stoped her. "What's your problem ?" She had that killing look in her eyes again. " What do you care if I go or not ! Let go !"

She composed herself then smiled weakly to get my hopes up. That smile was followed by a slap. Light then stormed off in the opposite direction of the solidiers. I followed her cautiously because a bruise was bad enough, i didn't want a broken jaw .

I actually had no idea why she hated me so much. I'd been so good to Serah, protected her when Lightning wouldn't. But still she disliked me. Lightning was always very cold. She was like a shell never showing her emotions, and it scared the crap out of me. Every now and then she would stop in her tracks, turn her head slightly to see if I was still there, and then continue forward. After the tenth time it got annoying. I was bored so I wondered if I should talk to her or not but then remembered she had a weapon.

We found the rest of the gang and headed to the ruins. The old dude had trouble keeping up. I kinda felt sorry for him. We all went our own way in the temple to look around. I followed Light. For some reason I just couldn't keep away. She was admiring a giant orange crystal. -"Pretty." I had no idea if I was talking about the lump of glass or her. "Hey,I was just wondering, why do you hate me so much?" I said it a fast very high pitched voice hoping she would think i was joking. She smiled at me for the first time in forever. -"Don't worry, I don't _hate_ you. I just can't stand you at times."That part she said in a sweet tone. "But grab me once more like that and you'll never have children !" And that part she said whilst holding a survival knife to my throat.

We found an old airship and took flight. We thought the old man wasn't that useless after all, but he proved us wrong by crashing into a pile of junk. We'd arrived at the Vile Peaks. After a boring history lesson from Sahz, Lightning stormed off, followed swiftly by Hope. That would not end well. So I was stuck with a senior citizen and two chicks. We walked around for hours not even knowing where we going. That Vanilla girl or whatever got tired so we made ourselfs some beds from old pieces of was clearly not big enough. I had trouble sleeping so I sat up and watched the fire instead. I then heard a kind voice. -"Don't worry she's a big girl." Sahz smiled at me. "I can see you're worried, but heck did you see her blade ! That could take out an Army !" I smiled back. How could he tell i was thinking 'bout her. Was it that obvious ? "-Oh, yeah I guess. It's just if i don't take care or Light, Serah will never forgive me." There I covered it up well enough . -"Is that so ? Seems to me like you've got a little soft spot for the girl. But then again I'm often wrong!" Damn, cover blown. He laughed as he lay back down, which reassured me he was joking. That or he wanted to cause trouble. After our little _chat_, I slowy fell asleep on my cold, hard bed.

_ Out in the Dark_

I was never a very calm person but _he_ got on my nerves more than anyone. He was always looking for an oportunity to show-off and play hero. He couldn't even look after one person and he expects to save the world. But that's Snow for you. We'd just set up camp in the Yaschas Massifs. I hadn't slept in days since I was on guard duty but that night it was Fang's turn. The crackling fire kept me from my sleep so I listened to this new exotic world instead. You could hear the largest beats and the wildest chocobos from miles away. But one monster was making the worst noise of them all. Snow's not the lightest person in the world so when he got up and went for a walk I just had to follow him. I really can't trust him. Who knows what's he's hiding under that bandana. I must of been at his pursuit for an hour before he finally stoped. We arrived at a Spring. The place was beautiful, but one oaf was stoping me from enjoying the view. -"Hey you, what do you think you're doing out this late ?" He turned around and grined, ugh, i hated his stupid face when he smiled. -"Wondered when you'd show up." He'd turned back around but his voice sounded cheerful enough. "I thought we could have a little one on one if you know what I mean." -"Sicko..." I grabed my gunblade and was going to pierce his thick head. -"What hey STOP! I didn't mean it like _that_. I meant a fight. Couldn't ask you in front of the gang at risk of annoying your _boyfriend_." Guess he was refering to Hope. His grin got even bigger even though he was about to die.

If he wanted a fight he was about to get one. I jumped on him and almost sliced his ear off when he snatched my gunblade from my hands. -"Good, now I've got your attention we can talk." His grin turned into a soft smile. Snow never just _talked_. God does that guy know how to frustrate me. I put my gunblade away, turned around and punched him inbetween the eyes. That felt so good. Whilst he was dating Serah, I'd wanted to hurt him so much but never would at the risk of hurting my sister, but she wasn't here now so I could do whatever i wanted. He was bleeding. -"I think you broke my nose. Ow, and i thought I was strong." I smiled weakly at him. Even though he was a jerk, there was something charming about him that no one could resist, and that was the worst part about him. -"Hang on." I wasn't going to let him bleed to death, even though I wanted to, so i began cleaning the wound. -"It's just, what did I do to make you so angry at me ? I've tried to be nice to you but you just don't notice. I've been nothing but good to Serah and still you hate me. Light, you're so hard to read ..." I knew I was. Hiding your emotions, your feelings is better than being vunerable and letting your guard down. You do that and you're dead. -"I don't know. We're just to different. The one thing we have in common is the love we share for Serah. It's that you and I well... you know what I mean..." I used cure to seal the cut.

We made our way back to camp. Fang had fell asleep so I watched over the others. He drifted off not long after we arrived. Snow's snore was somewhat comforting. It put me at ease. I suppose it made me feel...safe.

_**So reviews would be a great, I accept any tips or advice you have to offer. Thanks !**_


	2. Invitation to chaos

I wake from my slumber, screaming his name,

Hoping that someone will hear my claim,

Then I feel his blue eyes looking at mine ,

And I know that in due time,

This affair will be over, it may come as a fright,

But until then we will cherish every night.

Invitation to Chaos.

She hated it . She wished to rip it up. She longed to burn it. She hoped it would turn to dust. She loathed it so much, It made her want to cry.

The tiny, fragile piece of paper Lightning held in her hands was _hell_ to her. It was cute, had little sparkly flower on the side and was of a pink like color. Sweet, like her sister. You could see from a mile off that Serah had obviously designed it . Although the idea was her sister's, the writing on the card wasn't. It was the same handwriting that was placed on the letters she received every week. The same handwriting that would start every love drowned note with "hey". The same handwriting that belonged to a man who had once told her that he loved her. She stared at the ground and sighed. She kept telling herself over and over again that she was a horrible person. She wasn't, what she was doing was horrible. She loved her sister dearly and every time she touched the man, she could see her sister's face in his eyes. Serah was clueless. She was never a very smart person. Lightning wanted to keep the man she loved and still have the love and respect of her sister. She knew that having the two of them was greedy.

Suddenly a beeping sound coming from the bedroom woke her from her reflection. She got up, with a light head, and, after almost crashing into numerous objects scattered around the house, found her way to the bed. On the light blue covers was a cell phone. She looked at the black piece of plastic and hesitantly picked it up. On the screen was her sister name. It was early in the morning and she wondered why Serah would be calling.

-"Light, who is it ?"

The booming voice came from the bathroom where her lover was showering. She could hear the water falling onto the tiles and she could see the steam entering the room where she stood from a small crack in the door.

-"It's Serah..."

The man didn't reply so the young women let it ring, until an exited voice came out through the tiny speakers on the phone. "Hi it's Snow, well I guess you know that or you wouldn't have called, I either can't come to the phone or I've just preferred to dodge your calls. If you really must have some of my awesomeness leave a message after the tone. " The first word that entered her mind was "big-head". She'd never heard the message because every time she called, Snow would answer. He would always make time for her. That was one of the signs that reassured Lightning that Snow really did care for her. She hadn't noticed, but she was still holding the invite in her hands. She placed it next to the phone and breathed in deeply. Snow came out of the bathroom and got dressed. His hair was dripping wet and a tiny drop of water was making it's was to his chin. Before interrogating Snow, she looked at herself in the mirror. Lightning was wearing one of Snow's old shirts and her hair was an absolute mess. Her slight curls had now gone flat and were spread about her back. She looked the complete opposite of the soldier that she was. Snow, still sitting on the bed, started playing with a piece of rosy pink hair, while Lightning examined herself.

-"You know I prefer this look. It's less serious than your soldier uniform. " From his reflection in the mirror, Lightning could tell that he was teasing her. She wanted to make it clear to him that she was upset so crossed her arms and went to sit on the opposite side of the bed.

Snow's expression was confused. A minute ago she was all over him and now... she was back to her old self. With Snow, Light opened up and became happy and full of life. Snow went over to the young soldier and kneeled down before her. Their faces were at the same height so Snow pressed his lips against hers. Lightning kissed him back for a little while before pulling away.

-"I saw the invitation." Snow and Lightning both remembered the deal they had made once they got back from their journey. *Only until the wedding. * They only had a little longer to be with each other before it was all over. They didn't want to hurt Serah so promised it would be over, after Snow and the younger Farron were married. Snow was annoyed to do this but loved Lightning and would do anything to make her happy. And for Lightning, her sister's happiness was every thing to her.

A tear budded in the corner of Lightning eye. Snow wiped it away before it could fall and then took the soldier in his arms. -"It'll all be okay." The man's voice was reassuring

. -"You should go. Serah will wake up soon." Lightning said this whilst looking away from Snow. Her expression was daunting. It was a mix of sadness and illness. Now that he could look at her properly, Lightning was looking very pale and she had lost the twinkle in her eyes. Lightning never got ill. She was like a super strong robot.

-"Hey, are you okay ?" Snow voice broke off into an worried tone. The young women looked up nodding her head and smiled .

-"I'm fine, just a little light headed, I just need to get some sleep." Snow nodded before placing her back down on the bed. He kissed her cheek and scampered off into the night.

The next day, Lightning got up with a burning headache and began cursing at the sun coming in from the unpolished window of her apartment. She kept telling herself that today was not going to be a good day. She had to go shopping for bridesmaid dresses with Serah. Great. What made it worse was that she was late. She grabbed her normal attire and headed for the door. Lightning only had work in the afternoon so she would have to suffer all morning, listening to Serah talk about corsages, tiaras and shoes. She made her way to the shop where she was supposed to meet her sister. She went inside and felt disgusted. Surrounding her was a heap of ruffles, diamonds and lace. The tomboyish soldier didn't care for dresses. She only wore a skirt because she could move ten times faster than the other soldiers that slouched around in their heavy uniforms. She spotted Serah admiring the most horrible dress. Her face was filled with joy as she stared at the fuchsia colored pile of material.

-"You're late." She turned round to Lightning still holding the hideous thing and handed it to her.

-"Why do you want me to look like a lollypop ?" Lightning held back from laughing at Serah. The naive sister had a sour expression. Her eyes were narrow and a crease developed over her head.

The soldier sighed and slumped into the changing cabinet. She put on the dress which could of easily had a thousand layers and looked at her self. She took it off and joined Serah outside of the changing rooms. She greeted her simply with a sharp "no". That was the exact same response she gave to every dress Serah proposed. She either looked like a stripper or an old lady. Then Lightning came across something that surprised her. It was a knee length dress in blue with a sweetheart neckline and a lace trim. She didn't adore the dress but it was the only thing she found suitable in the four stores they had visited. They bought it at a high price and headed for a sweet little cafe called "River Dreams", that was located on the other side of the road.

They sat at a table just looking at the menu for twenty minutes before Serah spoke.

-"You're even less talkative today than you normally are." Serah was whining... again.

What could Lightning possibly say. _Hey Snow's cheating on you with me !_ or _Your fiance's great in bed_! . So instead of answering she dived deeper into the menu which she had now memorized. Just as the waiter arrived at the table, Lightning glanced at the clock. Two in the afternoon. She didn't have work until three but she preferred to hang around at the army station than suffer the awkwardness of her and her sisters conversations.

-"You know what, I have to get to work. Sorry, but this was fun." What a lie ! Lightning had never been so bored in her entire life. Serah nodded and waved sarcastically as Lightning headed outside.

As she arrived at her work place she was greeted by a friendly smile. Frederic her loyal comrade in battle. Frederic was always around but Lightning only really noticed him after the fall of cocoon. He was one of the only people to acknowledge Lightning's existence and in doing so became one of her greatest and closest allies. He was a couple of years older than Lightning but acted a lot younger than she did. Most of the time, Light felt like she was taking care of Hope all over again. It wasn't that Frederic was a bad fighter, he had the same ability as Lightning, but he was to emotional and scared he would hurt someone other than the enemy. He wanted to become a photographer but when his brother died he needed to take care of his niece and to provide for her he had to join the guardian corps. He informed Lightning that the lieutenant was about to announce his replacement. Lightning, knowing she'd missed out on this opportunity, caught up with her boss and asked to talk to him before he made any final decisions. He sat down at his desk and Lightning, crossing both her arms and her legs, sat opposite him

. -"What can I do for you Farron ?" He was playing dumb. He knew exactly what Lightning was here for. He grinned widely.

-"Why didn't you call me and tell me you were leaving ?" She said it in a strong voice, trying to show her persuasion.

-"Because it doesn't concern you !" He placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his wrinkled and folded hands.

The young soldier slammed her hands down on the table and rose from her seat. "Doesn't concern me ! You and I both know that I'm the best you've got !" She was right. In the time it took her comrades to prepare for battle she had already deafest the enemy. He chuckled silently, sarcastically.

-"Well maybe. But what drives you ?" Before she could speak he rose his hand to silence her. " I'll tell you what does. Anger, rage. Not passion for your army. That is why I didn't inform you of my retirement."

-"That's funny. Because with my rage I do my job ten times better than you do yours. " She knew she was angry on the battlefield, but that was the only way she could block out everything else

. -"You really think you can do it ?" She nodded confidently. " Than I'll announce to every one that you'll be my replacement. " She smiled and thanked him. "But you know, if ever you can't handle it you can pass the responsability over to someone else."

-"I doubt I'll need to do that."

A/N: Thanks a bunch for reading and any reviews will be great. If you've got any questions don't be afraid to ask. Criticism is welcome as well. Also, I couple of people may be asking themselves why I started "Closed Book" with two short stories and then went into a deeper plot which I will continue to develop. Well the answer to that is, the first chapter was just to give some depth on the relationship between Snow and Light whilst on their journey, whereas the following chapters are what happened after they turned back from L'cie. Oh and about Frederic he will be returning in other chapters, he wasn't just a way to make the story longer.


	3. Meeting by the River

_So close, yet so far apart,_

_I can move, touch and pierce his heart,_

_And with a harsh word, I can destroy his life, _

_In an effort to bring him closer to his wife,_

_Still he knows that in time I'll learn,_

_It is to him that I will always return._

**_Meeting by the River._**

Lightning hadn't seen Snow in weeks. As the wedding day grew nearer, the _happy _couple were always busy with preparations. Serah would parade her Fiance around like he was a piece of meat, and Snow, knowing that this is the future Lightning wanted for her sister, obliged to the lies. Snow was never a very good actor. He was about seven or eight when he had his first show. He had to play King Bartholomew in a portrayal of "Blue Dove", and looking at the hundreds of people staring at him with beady eyes made him feel faint. Every word he uttered wouldn't fit right on his lips, and the situation he found himself in at the moment was no different. Serah seemed suspicious, so instead of reassuring her with kind words, he would show his non-existing affection with a firm kiss or a brief hug. And Serah bought it all.

Lightning was coaching younger members of guardian corps that afternoon, when she was alerted by a buzzing sound. The young lieutenant wasn't really good with the latest technology, unless of course it was a new military weapon, so Frederic, who was by her side, had to tell her that it was simply her phone. She blushed before walking away and taking the red cell in her hands. She'd received a voice message from Serah. She considered leaving it, and when Serah would ask her why she didn't reply, she would simply say that she'd never seen it. But if Serah was in trouble, Lightning would feel awful, so she listened to the soprano voice entering the small room.

_Hey Lightning ! I hope you've got some cash on you, I forgot mine at home, and Snow's not here yet. Get here soon._

Damn ! She'd forgotten all about the meeting at the cafe._ That_, or she'd blocked the information from her mind. In her rush, she dropped the phone on the floor, almost smashing it into a million pieces, and headed outside. She could hear her second-in-command shouting at her from the training hall, but had no time to reply.

As she dashed through the crowds of people that were shopping in the most high end part of the city, she received some curses and angry glares. She answered them all with _"go to hell_ !".After about a fifteen minutes of running, she saw a little blue shop in the distance. It was the cafe she was supposed to meet Serah in,it was called "Rive Dreams". She made her way to the door but not before bumping into an "old friend", and I mean that literally, she almost gave her self concussion.

"Haven't seen you in a while." Snow said, raising an eyebrow.

"Not here" Although the words were hissed, Lightning had a loving, caring look in her eyes. She cleared her throat and entered the cafe. Snow followed her shortly after.

Serah was sitting at an empty table to the back of the cafe. She tapped her wrist angrily. Serah was always very impatient. Let me give you an example: on Cocoon, it would normally take around eight months to prepare for a wedding. Serah planned to have her's in just under _one_ month. Snow didn't want to have a wedding at all. He kept asking himself what the hell he was going to do once they were married. He didn't want to have kids with Serah. He didn't want to buy a new house with Serah. He didn't want to grow old with Serah. But every time he would ask Lightning to reconsider her proposal, she would start shouting at him. He loved _Light _, not her sister ! He wanted to run away with Lightning and never come back. But the women he loved wasn't really the romantic type, so escaping into the sunset was probably a bad idea.

Snow sat across from Lightning. He tried hard not to keep staring at her but found the task impossible so stared out of the window. Lightning was lost in thought, wondering if she'd done the right thing by leaving Frederic with the young soldiers. And Serah was feeling awkward.

"Snow what are you thinking about ?" Now this was the opportunity for Snow to convince his soon to be wife that he was happy about getting married. Instead he did what Snow does best. Be dumb. He picked up a fork. "I was just thinking that... uh... forks are really arrogant and big-headed. I mean why does it need _four_ pointy things ? I'm sure it could cope with just having two sharp stick-things..." Suddenly the hole restaurant turned around to look at Snow. Turns out he was speaking very loudly. Lightning placed her fingers on the brigde of her nose and shook her head lightly. Snow oppened his big mouth again. "What's wrong Light, got another migraine ?"

"What do you mean another?" Serah spoke confidently. Lightning, wide-eyed, kicked Snow hard in the shins.

"Ow, damn !" Snow began rubbing his leg. Serah looked at him confused.

"What's wrong Honey ?" Lightning couldn't tell wether she was speaking with a sarcastic or worried tone.

"Uh...A rat...I mean a possum just bit me!" Serah gasped and rose from her seat just as a waiter came to their table.

"May I ask what's wrong ?" The young man had a very dreamy voice. Something you would hear on a perfume advert. Although his looks did not match up to the tone of his angelic voice.

"Yes, a possum just bit my fiance !" Serah jumped up on her chair to make her self more apparant as she addressed the other costumers. "Excuse me! Hello! Everyone, there is a possom on the loose. Please evacuate this restaurant." She jumped down, grabbed Snow by the arm and lead everyone out of the room. The crowd was screaming as franctic parents put their children on their shoulders and a worried old couple began hitting the floor with their canes. Lightning waited for everyone to be gone before placing some gil on the table.

"Keep the change."

She arrived back at work just as Frederic was leaving. He looked so different in his black jacket and jeans. His hair was messy from having been in a helmet for most the day, and his light brown locks shone as the sun hit his body. He was packing his new Gunblade away in his locker. Lightning remembered what it felt like when she got her first Gunblade. She used to practice on the beach. At night of course, she didn't want to injure anybody.

Frederic turned around to find a frantic Lightning staring at him. Her hair was ruined and her beige coat was undone. Lighting didn't care for her appearance but liked to look neat and tidy.

"Woah, what happened to you ?" He laughed as he said it . She punched him playfully and grabbed her brown bag that was sitting on the bench. Frederic put his arm around her shoulders and walked her outside. Lightning felt like he was her sibling, and Frederic felt the exact same way. "Do you wanna come and meet the family, Light ?" She nodded and placed her head back on his shoulder.

As they arrived at Frederic medium sized house, Lightning recognized the area. It was Palumpolum. Hope's old house was only ten minutes away. The garden was very well tended to and there were flowers everywhere. No weeds, just beautiful plants. There was a short pathway to the front door and just in front of that door was a little red and yellow tricycle, which would be suited for a three or four year old. As Frederic opened the door, Lighting could hear a little girl shouting from inside. Turns out the little girl wasn't shouting she was singing, and dancing to what seemed to be Jake Burben, a teen heart-throb. Frederic grabbed a remote that was placed on a table and turned the music off. The little girl stomped her feet and crossed her arms.

"No ! I need to pwatice Fweddy ! " Her angry little face then had a big smile plastered over it, as she ran into her uncle's arms. Seeing the two of them together reminded Lightning of her parents. She only knew them for a little while, but she cherishes the memories of her beautiful mother and her playful father. They had their problems like every family, but got through them just fine.

"Hey Opal, this is Lightning." Opal looked at the young women and waved. Lightning waved back, tilting her head to the side and smiling along.

"Did you like my dance Lightning ? I pwatice evewy day." Although the dancing wasn't great Lightning couldn't be mean to such a cute little thing. She felt drawn to the little girl.

"It was truly amazing. Maybe, one day, you can teach me." Lightning still smiling, had never felt so maternal before. With Serah she felt somewhat motherly but it wasn't immense.

Frederic turned the awful music back on and put Opal down. The little girl, who was wearing a sparkly blue dress that was made for dancing, began twirling and spinning in circles, all the while singing her heart out. Lightning watched her for what seemed like hours. She wondered how she could keep spinning and not get dizzy. After three songs, Opal took Lightning's hand and lead her to her bedroom. The beautiful room was yellow with pink carpet and had stripy curtains that went perfectly with the bedding. Opal let go of Lightning, who was mesmerized by the room she'd always wanted as a little girl, and went to lie on the bed. She called the guest over shortly after. After stumbling over dolls, teddy bears, baby unicorns and clothes, Lighting lied down next to her. The little gem pointed upwards towards the ceiling. Lightning was unable to see what the girl was pointing at straight away but realized the the thing she thought to be a damp patch was actually a drawing of Cocoon. Surrounding the circular shaped world, were dozens of little stick people. Under them was a word. It was hard to read, since it was written by a six year old.

"Who are they Opal ?" The little girl turned to Lighting and held her hand before gazing back up at the ceiling.

"They'we all the people I've known. Hey Lightning, what's youw favowite colow ?" Lightning wondered how a six year old knew over forty people, but preferred not to ask.

"Blue, I guess." It hasn't always been her favorite color. But when the man you love has got blue eyes, you find the color magical.

Opal got up from the bed and went to fetch a box of crayons. Lightning sat up on the yellow an pink sheets and watched the young girl draw a little stick woman with a red cape and pink hair. Underneath the _masterpiece_, she wrote : l-i-t-n-i-n. Light didn't want to discourage the young girl over her spelling so applauded her instead.

"Hey, stop stealing my guests !" Frederic came in Opal's room and sat next to Light. "She likes you. I can't possibly understand why but st- Ow!" she hit him gently while his niece had her back turned. They both burst out Laughing and, Opal, finishing off her drawing, scowled at them.

"Be quiet, I need to concentwate !" Frederic got up and told Lighting to follow him.

He lead her to the back-garden which, for the size of the house was enormous. This piece of land was just as beautiful as the garden she'd seen previously. To the far left of her was a gorgeous flowerbed, spreading out for a good twenty feet. And to the right of Lighting, was a collection of trees and plants.

"Who's that ?" Lighting didn't want to seem nosey, but when an unknown women was gardening in your best-friend's garden, you get a little protective. Frederic called over the young women.

"Lucia, get your butt over here." The women turned around and started jogging up the slope. Now that Lighting could see her better, she was very pretty. Her features were very soft and her long copper hair reached her waist. Her smile was ever brighter than the sun. If you erased the dirt form her hands, and put her in more feminine clothes than the t-shirt and black trousers she ported, Lucia could have easily been a model.

"Oh, you must be Lightning. I'd shake your hand but..." She raised her hand to show the muck that was covering it." You've been so good to Frederic lately, making him your second-in-command and everything." She smiled even more and her green eyes were squinted. Lighting could tell instantly who she was. She had the same color eyes as Frederic's and her features resembled his.

"You must be Frederic sister." It was a risky question though, if she was his wife, Lighting was going to feel stupid. Instead Lucia just nodded.

"Actually, I have to get back to work. It was nice meeting you." And she ran back to her plants.

Frederic's sister, Lucia, is Opal's aunt. When the two of them found out that their older brother had passed, they couldn't decide on who would take care of the little girl. So they both put their savings together to buy this beautiful house. Lucia was a full time gardener. Her job consisted of planning the landscape for other peoples gardens, and then making the blueprint into reality. She wasn't paid alot, but she found something comforting about flowers and plants. Mainly because they have no problems. Lucia was the person who took her brother's death the hardest. To fill the hole in her heart she created the garden where Lighting now stood, from gravel and stones. She stayed awake for a week, working her fingers to the bone.

Now Frederic was doing fine with his photography, until a big company arrived in palumpolum and took all the rich costumers. All this was over three years ago. Opal was two years old and needed lots of toys and furniture. Because of this Frederic gave up the job he adored and went to a job hiring agency. He left school early as a boy, and in consequence was only good for one thing. Killing. He adapted to his new job pretty quickly, although the over-time he needed to spend building his muscles was rough, he enjoyed the uniform and the authority he had over the troops. He glided up the army ladder quite fast. Then he got a place in the Guardian Corps, that's how he met Lightning. He liked his job even more. Exploring places, examining Falcie and chasing after bad L'cie was a thrill. The one thing he dispised doing was hurting humans.

He and Lighting were paired up for a job two years ago. Their task was to "get rid" of a couple of pestering L'cie. They made their way to the Euride Gorge where two female L'cie had been spotted. They searched for hours but found nothing. Until they heard a banging noise. In an elevator was a young girl. They smashed the doors open to free the girl who had been trapped in a metal container for days. She fell on the the floor, breathing in as much clean air as humanly possible, before looking up at the soldiers. It was only as the innocent looking girl raised her face that Lightning spotted something on her thigh. A L'cie brand. Lighting grabbed the red head and pinned her up against the wall by her arms. She kept shouting at Frederic telling him to kill her while they could. In frustration Lighting turned around to a shocked Frederic and slapped him. During this time, the L'cie had escaped.

Lightning forgave him...after a long time. Light still hasn't realized who the two young women she was asked to destroy were and probably never will. If they would have done their job as planned, the fall of Cocoon would never of happened. Not many were killed, but a few towns were destroyed, like Bodhum beach and Nautilus. The Purge had taken almost all the people from there anyway.

Still standing in the garden, Lightning asked what time it was. Frederic responded by putting up seven fingers.

"I have to go, I've got a... well it doesn't matter. Say bye to Lucia for me."

"Okay, Bye Light, see you next week." As Lighting made her way through the house she was joined by Opal at the door, who hugged her. At first Lightning didn't know what to do, but considering all that the young girl had been through, picked her up and hugged her back. Lighting felt a warm feeling inside, that was almost impossible to describe.

She arrived at Serah's house where Snow was in the living room. He pointed upwards, almost in despair. Lightning sat next to him and began rubbing his back, trying to comfort the man she adored. He raised his head from his hands and looked at Lightning. The soldier knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Lightning, I can't do this. The wedding's tomorrow ! I thought I could, I thought I wanted to but I... Ugh." Lightning didn't want to pressure Snow into doing anything, but it was better this way. She knew she was being selfish, but she wanted to see her sister happy more than anything. She loved Snow but she could never be with him permanently. It would never work out. She hugged him tightly almost as if she never wanted to let go and spoke in a very calm tone.

"I love you." That was the first time she'd said that to a man.

"Than why isn't it us getting married ? I should be with you, and only you !" Snow was almost begging, pleading Light.

"Because I can't see you get hurt..."

_A/N: Chapter 4 coming up with a __major twist __! Can you guess what it will be ? I'm exited even though I know what's going on ! _


	4. Sparkling sands

_After gallons of alcohol and a sinister game,_

_Only two young forbidden lovers remain,_

_A jewel in his hands, so that they will be forever joined by the heart,_

_A sign of their affection before they must part._

_A night they probably couldn't and shouldn't remember._

The night before was hectic. Lightning despised bachelorette parties. The strippers made her feel ill, the wine and champagne made her head spin and the screaming of exited friends made her want to cut her ears off. All through out the night, she kept telling herself that this was what Serah wanted on her last night of celibacy, so she suffered in silence. Lightning was forced in to wearing some of her old shorts and a white tank top. Her hair was tied up into a high ponytail and fell neatly onto the back of her neck. She'd never looked so... so girly before. Serah wore a black almost see-through dress that barely past her thighs. Her hair was wild as it's previous tight curls, had turned into a giant frizzy mess. A crown was posed on top of the mess so that every one would know that this was her hen party. If this was how Serah was spending her night, she didn't even want to think about what Snow doing.

To get the party "started", a waiter wearing a necktie and tight pants only, came and offered the ladies some shots. Lightning politely refused, but Serah, drunk on happiness, drank like there was no tomorrow. Unfortunately for Lighting, there was going to be a tomorrow, and two weeks after that, when Snow and Serah would go on a honeymoon. Because of a feeling of guilt, she couldn't get fully into the party mood, so smiled and tucked her hands between her legs, pinching herself. She had no idea if the guilt was coming from the affair or the fact that she was pressuring Snow into doing something he was against. Her breathing became heavier as more and more people turned up. She didn't even recognize most of the girls. Friends of Serah's she guessed. Her younger sister would greet them all with over-exaggerated pecks on the cheeks.

Lightning glanced at the clock. Great, only two more hours to suffer before she could go home. As strippers and male pole dancers danced on the stage, Lightning felt ill. She looked away at risk of ruining the party with a projectile vomiting incident. Serah was all too happy to be seduced by these "men", if you could call them that. Halfway through the stupid, pathetic dancing, Serah jumped up on the table and started hopping around, knocking glasses and bottles off of it. All the other girls cheered apart from one, who bowed her head in shame.

"C'mon Light. Don't be so boring." She screamed over the music as she said it, and waved her hands in the air.

"I don't think that would be such a good idea." It wouldn't. Lightning could hardly walk in the black platforms Serah had begged her to wear.

"Ugh. You are so dull, Claire." She used Lighting real name on purpose. Lightning, fuming exiled herself to the restrooms.

Inside were about ten girls throwing up, and another ten re-adjusting their make-up. She sat down on the floor, her back leaning up against the wall. The last time she'd felt this disgusted, was when she'd kissed Snow for the first time. Not because she didn't enjoy the kiss, but because she felt awful for betraying her sister. But as time went on, she just got used to the feeling and it faded away as the love she had for Snow took it's place. Now that she had time to properly think about the first time she'd shown affection was Snow, it was beautiful. The setting they were in, the way happened and the kiss in it's self.

Lightning had been having a really rough day, the only thing that kept her awake was her spirit for fighting. Anger was all she felt. As the gang set up camp somewhere near Surylla Springs, Light strayed off and Snow followed her. She couldn't remember for what reason, but she was standing on the edge of a cliff and looking up towards Cocoon. She heard Snow coming up behind her and turned around. As she did her foot slid off the ground and her hole body fell off the high cliff. Luckily Snow grabbed her arm. Her heart was racing and her mind was slipping away, just like her grip on Snow. He kept telling her to "hold on", that was the only thing she could do. Well that or she could fall into an early grave. Snow took her other arm and yanked her up. With the force she fell on top of him. He greeted her with a quick smile and "well isn't this cozy". She blush and kneeled down in front of him, both her legs firmly on the ground. She held her back straight and put her hands on her lap, all the while looking away from her savior. Snow mimicked her pose and tried to make their eyes meet, in futility. Lightning knew what was about to happen. She knew this moment would come from the very start of their journey at Lake Bresha. It was inevitable. Very gently, he took her cheek and lifted her face up to his level and-

"Wakey, wakey Lightning." Standing in front of her was Lebreau. Light almost punched her for waking her from her wonderful daydream. It was weird that Lebreau had been invited. She wasn't exactly a friend of Serah's after all. Lighting now understood who all of the women her little sister had invited were. They weren't her friends, most of them were only acquaintances.

"Hello Lebreau." She said it through gritted teeth, before storming out of the bathroom and into the nightclub.

The music was so loud that she couldn't even hear herself breathe. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a black thing asleep on a chair. Serah. Her friends were dancing and staring at the men that had offered themselves up as entertainment. She walked over to her sister, almost breaking her neck in her shoes, and placed her sister's arm over her shoulder.

"Okay, time to get you home." She hoped to get a response out of Serah but she just mumbled something about having a headache, which wasn't surprising considering she'd drank half of what the bar was offering up.

She placed Serah in the back of her new car(you see, when you become lieutenant, you get treated like royalty, well semi-royalty, the pay isn't amazing), and headed back to Serah's house. Snow was staying over at Gadot's place so that he wouldn't "jinx" the wedding day. It was Serah's idea, Snow didn't care for tradition, but being away from Serah was good for him. When they got there, Lightning placed Serah on the couch and gave her some water. Serah flicked her head back after taking a few sips and blinked very slowly.

"Why didn't you stop me ?" Serah's tone was sarcastic. But her eyes were filled with worry. Lightning picked up on her doubtful expression and sat next to her. Light liked playing big sister, she felt needed, and to be needed in a world with no boundaries is a wonderful thing. Lighting gently brushed away a few pink strands of hair that covered her sisters face, and stroked her cheek very softly. She was always there for Serah, even when she didn't want to be.

"What's wrong ?" Lighting couldn't possibly have imagined the response that would come out of Serah delicate lips. she expected her to start rambling on about her wedding dress or the mess her hair had now transformed into. But Serah turning her face up ever so slightly, dauntingly, said something that Lightning definitely didn't want to here.

"I think Snow's got...reservations." She turned around to face Lighting swallowed briefly before her teeth gripped onto her bottom lip, trying to stop herself from crying.

Lightning couldn't help but feel horrified. She had seen the same look that graced Serah's face, the day her younger sister had tried to confess her "illness" to her. She could see her sister was hurting and it destroyed every single emotion in Lightning's mind. She'd tried all these years to protect Serah, to try and make her happy. And now she was doing this.

"Wh...why do you say that ?" She knew Snow was a bad liar, but to show doubt a few days before the wedding was a monstrous mistake. Lighting now found herself on her feet, her hands by her her side.

"He's just been acting so weird lately, and, and..." And then the tears fell. Serah began rubbing her eyes so much that her hands were soaked in sea water. The color of the skin surrounding her bulging pupils matched the color of the scarlet paint that covered the walls of her living-room. And her complexion was as white as the dust that covered Oerba. Lightning was going to have to think fast.

"Of course. He's a young man and he's settling down with you. Do you think he would be marrying you if he didn't care ?" Lightning's words were accompanied by a motherly smile and her head tilted to the side. All these comforting gestures were put on of course. And suddenly Serah looked up and nodded, as the last tear of the night completed it's journey to the wooden floors.

It must of been two in the morning when it occurred. The sound of the phone woke Light from her wonderful dreams. It took her a couple of minutes to reach the disturbance. The caller must of been desperate to talk if they waited that long for someone to pick up. The soldier closed her eyes and let her hands guide her to the ringing sound.

"What ? You do realize that it's-"

"[...]"

"What do you mean Snow ?"

"[...]"

"I thought Barthomew was going to come and pick him up."

"[...]"

"Ugh. I'll come get him in a minute."

From what Snow had told her, Hope had passed on the beach were the young man was holding the barbecue. it came as shock to everyone Snow had said. He must of been drinking in secret. Hope's father was meant to come and pick him up two hours ago, but never showed. Lightning had her doubts about Hope when she first met him over a year ago. She could understand his frustration at the world. Losing someone dear, as she had long ago, was an awful fait to befall any human, be it man or women, a strong person or a weak one, an adult or even a child... Lightning had almost grown numb to emotional pain, so to see this boy hurting to her was a sign of his weakness. But as she grew closer to Hope, she began to see a glimmer of herself in him. Not the person she had become, but the young girl she once was. He was a reflection of her former self, and as she took care of him, she became to understand her feelings, emotions, old and new, better. She gradually came to think of Hope as a younger brother.

As she arrived in front of her old house and made her way down to Lebreau's bar, she began picturing a young Hope, drunk, lying in the sand, with the water coming closer to soaking him. She allowed herself a quick laugh before she lay her eyes on the person she had promised herself to no longer have. Snow was sitting just outside the bar, which was closed due to the time of night it was, and was playing with something in his gloved hands. He saw Lighting walking towards him and stuffed it in his pocket before walking towards her smiling deviously. He hugged Lightning tightly before leading her down to the beach.

The deep blue water was shining as the glow of the the city lights hit it, and the sand, slightly wet, was sparkling. It was truly a beautiful evening. Snow took Lightning's hand and placed her in front of him. He started fiddling around in his pockets for some time before holding up a golden necklace. It was heart shaped and had a small blue crystal in the middle that was of the exact same color as Snow's eyes. Lightning couldn't help but stare at the magnificent piece of jewelry. He smiled at her for a long time before taking her hand once more and speaking.

"It's for you." He tilted his head and made his way to her neck. "Here let me just-"

Lightning allowed herself one last glance at it , before pushing Snow into the water. He fell on his back with a large splash. He'd lied to her just to get her to see him again. Lightning tried to keep a serious expression, but seeing the black bandana of her lover, falling into the water made her let out a amused smile. She headed towards Snow still who was soaked from top to bottom, and held out a delicate hand. He took it, his head bowed down in shame. Suddenly he looked up grinning and pulled Lighting in the sea next to him. Her face when he yanked her hand was really something. It appeared that her eyes were ready to burst.

Kneeling down , she lifted her head up to find him facing her and a spinning heart blocking her view of the world. She took the necklace and hugged the one she truly loved.

_** A/N : About the **__**twist **__**I spoke about in the previous chapter, it will be in the next one ! The wedding (chap.5) is coming up soon ! Can't wait personally, but before that I've got to finish my other story and then I can apply my hole focus to "Closed book". Hope you enjoyed it, don't forget to review.**_


	5. Shock down the aisle

As her curly pink her moves like it could never be tame,

Everyone watching seemed to regain,

A hint of happiness across their wet face,

Only one man's clean appearance was ruined but an expression of disgrace,

At what he was doing to himself, to this young girl,

Just then, a beautiful bridesmaid's head began to twirl.

Shock down the aisle.

"Serah you look amazing." Lightning wasn't just saying this to convince Serah and herself that she was one hundred percent happy of her sister marrying Snow, Serah looked marvelous. Her beautifully proportioned body was covered with a pure white wedding dress, that stopped just below the knee and hugged her figure wonderfully. Attached to the dress, was a train that started off at her waist and, after meeting with the floor, continued for two meters more before coming to a halt in a very soft way. The stylist she had hired had curled her hair up so that it stopped just after the shoulders. Fixed to the top of her head, was a flowery barrette that her mother had worn the day she married the girls' father. Although Serah was meant to be the "star", Lightning looked equally beautiful and elegant in her attire. The blue dress she had picked out only a couple of days prior to the marriage, went perfectly with the heart shaped necklace Snow had given her the night before. She wore the gift not only because she adored it, but because it was a sign to her and Snow that this was the end.

"Yeah well it won't last ." Serah pointed out the window, pouting. Lightning view was greeted by rain. The bride slumped down in a random chair and placed her head in her hands. Lightning had told Serah it was a bad idea to get married outside in the wettest month of the year, but Serah was adamant about her decision.

Lightning went over to her sister and kneeled down in front of her. She fixed the hair-clip back in place, before assuring Serah that everything would be fine. The young girl lifted her head and, squinting her eyes shut, and followed Lightning's kind words with a smile. Lightning could remember a time long ago when she was having the exact same conversation with her sister. After their parents passed away, all Lightning would do was to comfort Serah, who was in pieces. Lightning was also saddened by the loss of her parents but found a "unique" way of moving on; leaving every memory and twinkle of her parents behind. One of those things was her name. Claire was her mother's middle name and Lightning's real name. It was one more tie she had to let go of. Unlike her older sister, Serah cherished every memory of her parents. She found it absurd that Lightning would want to forget them. In time they both found what they were looking for. A way out of the nightmare and back to reality.

Lightning got up and went over to the window, where she could see a couple of people beginning to arrive. It was Frederic and his unconventional family. Serah wasn't very close to Frederic, but was great friends with Lucia, who she'd known a long time before Light met Frederic. Lightning lifted a finger up to Serah, telling her to wait, and hurried out the door. She held a coat up over her head and shuffled the guests into the main hall. Inside were a few of the couple's friends who had been here before it began to rain. Lightning recognized one or two of them from the bachelorette party, but she had no idea who the others were. She took the coat off from over her head, and threw the wet impermeable on the stair railings. She smiled at Frederic, who looked dapper in his black and white tuxedo, and received a greeting back. She then made her way over to Lucia, who was holding Opal, and greeted her with two quick pecks on the cheeks. Lucia and Opal's dressed were very similar in design, but the beautiful copper headed women's was green, and Opal's was red. After a couple of minutes of banter, Lightning left the guests to go and check on Snow. She knew it was risky, but surely she was able to keep calm around him !

She made her way up the stairs in a hurry and arrived at the fourth door on her right. The beige door was slightly open so she peeked inside to find Snow re-adjusting her necktie. He'd lost his famous bandana and trench-coat, and replaced them with a tidy suit and soft blond locks of hair, that cradled his face. Lightning felt a strange feeling inside as she stared at the man she'd forbidden herself from loving, but couldn't stop.

"Light, I can see you in the mirror by the way ." He turned around and made his way to the door. Lightning stood up abruptly as his face reached hers in no time. " Hello !" Her face became flushed, before pushing him back into his room and closing the door behind them. " I see you've reconsidered . It was the necklace that swayed you wasn't it ?" He grinned widely and sat in the bed, his arms crossed behind his head. Lightning looked at the mess around her. The once beautiful room had been bombarded with clothes. Over three different suits were thrown on the floor. Lightning sighed, and sat next to Snow. Her heart was beating more and more as temptation began overtaking her body.

"You put your tie on wrong." He laughed, rolling his eyes, before throwing the blue tie on the floor. Lightning turned to face him, her face filled with amusement. " Better ?"

"Yep." Lightning nodded before getting up. As she did so, Snow grabbed her arm, his face plunged into a view of the floor. Lightning turned around, feeling as if her chest was going to explode. She removed herself from his grip, which led Snow to look upset, and placed both her hands on his face. Snow shocked, rose from the bed and took one of her hands before kissing it lightly. He let go and just as he was about to kiss her, the door began to open. Lightning recoiled suddenly and bashed into the wall, giving herself a moment of sharp pain in her back.

Gadot entered the room, laughing and shaking his head.

"Man, you do not know what you're getting yourself into. Serah's going crazy." He looked at Snow before toggling his view to Lightning who was rubbing her back. His expression became puzzled. "Light ? What are you doing here." Lightning, in her panic picked, the tie off the floor and held it up to Gadot.

"Well, Snow doesn't know how to put a tie on so I thought I'd, you know, help him." Lightning smiled, her eyes wide, before throwing the tie at Snow's face and storming out of the room.

She leaned against the door briefly, listening to Snow and Gadot laughing, before making her way back to Serah, who had seemingly blown a fuse. She picked up her coat quickly and ran out into the rain. She arrived at the bridal suit, which was in a completely different manor house. She came in to find Serah rubbing her dress franticly. Lucia was staring at her from a chair, looking sorry for something. Serah looked up at Lightning, enraged, and showed her two quick mouvements. One of her hands pointed quickly to the brown spot on her white dress and the other showing two little eyes peeking out from behind the chair where Lucia was sitting. Lightning held back a laugh, not wanting to upset her sister even more, and made her way over to Opal. The little girls hands and face was covered in chocolate. She took her sticky hand, and led her to the bathroom. She placed Opal on the counter, and began washing the pretty jewel's hands. As the bubble's lifted Opal's spirits, the little girl started explaining what had happened.

"Well, it all stawted when Gadot gave me some chocolate." The little girl was a very good story teller, and Lightning enjoyed listening to her rambling. " I had it all over me, " She lifted her wet, soapy hands up." so I went to find a wipe to wash me. I was looking awound on the floow, and there was a piece of white stuff. So I picked it up and wiped me. But it didn't wowk. Then Serah got up and I saw it was hew dwess so I hid." She exhaled and inhaled in an over-exaggerated manner, which made Lightning burst out laughing.

"Just tell her you were trying to hug her okay." Opal nodded and looked at Lightning, tilting her head from side to side.

" What's wrong ?" Lightning couldn't talk about her problems with anyone. But she figured that if she put in a way that would make a child understand, then she could let go of the burden. She shook her hands, water splashing all over the polished mirrors, and rested against the wall. Opal looked at her impatiently.

"Well... there's this really nice toy I want. " Opal nodded once. " And there's only one of it's kind, but you see, it already belongs to someone else. " Opal crossed her arms and looked up at the ceiling, trying to find an answer. She then jumped up onto the bathroom counter.

"Why don't you shawe ?" Lightning shook her head. " Okay then. Steal it !" Light didn't know how a little girl of Opal's age could possibly think about stealing something, but it was a bad idea never less.

As they reentered the suit, Serah was sitting down with an ice cold flannel pressed up against her forehead. When she noticed Opal, she began shooting dirty looks her way. Opal misinterpreted these looks and ran over, her mouth wide open smiling, to hug Serah. The bride hugged her back, reluctantly before dropping her onto the floor.

Lebreau entered the room then to inform every one that the wedding ceremony was about to start. Serah was shaking her hands in excitement. Lightning on the other hand felt like she was going to be sick. A pounding headache had just began chewing through most of her senses. She got up and made her way to the door. As she was about to open the handle, her head started spinning and her vision became blurry. Serah, who was behind her, took her arm to stop her from falling over.

"Are you okay Light ?" Serah sounded worried. Lightning didn't want to ruin the occasion so nodded and stood back up straight.

"It's raining again..." Lightning's voice broke off half way through her words.

"I don't care." Serah smiled at her sister before hugging her gently, trying not to make her state any worse.

They ran through the pouring rain, which was so cold it numbed all pain in Lightning's head which was dangerously deceiving. They arrived at the opening of the aisle. Snow looked panicked. For a moment Lightning thought he might run, but Gadot stroked his shoulder, like a brother, to calm him down. The music started to play and the crowd rose from the scarlet colored chairs, every one of them soaked. Serah came out first, her wet hair blowing in the harsh wind. She seemed oblivious to the fact that is was freezing. Lightning followed her out. As they walked closer and closer towards the groom, Lightning could feel herself slipping away. She felt dizzy, and her eyes were burning. She stalled, which caused everyone to start staring at her.

She gazed at the grey, cloudy sky, before falling to the ground.

A/N: I'm exited about writing the next chapter already ! Don't forget to review ! ^^


	6. Emotional illness

_As her senses leave her, she's reminded of a time,_

_A time that could have been, a reality that never got to chime,_

_She'd broken the promise, and caused a grave fate,_

_For those who she loved, and it did not come late,_

_It hurried down the halls of the future,_

_And whispered a dreadful murmur,_

_Of a life to come, an awful one,_

_One with no joy,no love, because of what she'd done._

**Emotional illness.**

Snow was the first person to reach Lightning. He ran frantically down the aisle, his hair tangling in the wind, his eyes filled with despair. As he came to a halt in front of the beautiful young women, he sunk into the red carpet that she lay upon. He started caressing her white cheeks gently, not wanting to damage her. Her hair was soaked, as was her dress. As the freezing rain seeped closer and closer into the blue material, reaching her skin, she began to shiver. She looked up at Snow through a flutter of eyelashes and wished to tell him to comfort her sister who was crying, her back turned away from the crowd, but her voice didn't reach him. she could barely hear herself. She tried to communicate through actions, but couldn't move. All she could do was take in what was happening.

She knew she hadn't been well but thought nothing of it. She would often get migraines from stress, or over-working her body. But this was different, it only came when it pleased, giving no sign of warning, just striking. Like...like Lightning. Her head span faster each time she breathed and her eyes burned more and more as the rain hit her eyeshadow covered lids. She shut her eyes just to make sure her hearing was up to scratch. She listened to the noise of people dialing their phones, and then contacting the hospital. She could also hear tears falling onto the ground. But the one noise that she cared the most for was the breathing of one Mister Villiers. She knew it was bad for everyone to indulge herself in his breathing pattern, but it was the only thing she could fully concentrate on. The only thing that was keeping her awake.

She opened her eyes, trying to sink into his, and show him that she still cared. Unfortunately he was looking away at her talking to Serah. Saying something about staying with Lightning in the hospital. She tried to look over to see Serah's reaction, but was afraid in case it wasn't the reaction she desired. Snow smiled and looked back at Lightning. She suddenly felt herself leave the ground. She would've shrieked if she was able to. She found herself in the warm arms of Snow.

He brought her into the main hall where an hour earlier she was greeting guests in, and placed her on a fancy white and gold love-seat. He squatted down, so that his face was at the identical height that hers was and told her to wait there. She tried reaching out to him, but he was already gone. In Snow's absence Lightning became oblivious to the world around her. He vision was extremely blurry and every sound echoed through her body. All she could feel were a couple of warm tears falling from the eyes of a liar. And then, as the sound of sirens rang through her ears, she slowly drifted off into a dream.

Standing in front of her, were Snow and Serah, holding hands smiling and laughing. She gazed upon the sight of them both and felt an immense surge of jealousy flowing through her veins. She longed for it to be her holding him, even if it was wrong. They walked away before merging into the darkness. Lightning became warm as she was transported to another universe. Serah was lying in a hospital bed, Snow leaning over her carrying a beautiful baby. They looked so happy, so oblivious to the traumas and crisis' of this world. And then a flash of light brought Lightning to yet another scene. Snow and Serah weren't happy this time. They were shouting at each other. And as they were, a blond haired little girl was hiding behind wall, covering her ears. And then Lightning realized something. Serah was wearing Lightning's necklace, and carrying her gunblade. She thought it odd. She took another look around, skeptical of the dream and noticed that this was her old house in Bodhum. Suddenly a flashback of all the visions replayed themselves. With one major difference. In the place of Serah's soft features were Lightning's. One after another they played over and over again. And then Lightning woke.

She gasped as she sat up abruptly. She was greeted by a very sore hand, and a smile from Snow.

"Yes ! I knew it would work." Lightning had no idea what he was talking about at all. She shook her hand and shot Snow a confused look. He laughed awkwardly. " I willed you to wake up mentally." At that time she thought he was completely crazy.

"No you didn't !" She said it angrily. " You crushed my hand ! Look it's blue !" She held it in front of his face and tilted her head sarcastically.

Snow laughed loudly before welcoming Lightning back to reality with a tight embrace. She couldn't breathe, but just being awake was enough for her. The automobile stopped and Snow let go of Lightning still smiling.

The two men who had been driving, opened the back doors and lay Lightning back down on the stretcher. She tried to protest, she felt fine now. No more shivers, headaches or dizziness. But they still insisted on her lying down. They wheeled her into the hospital where they bypassed all of those in the waiting room, and made their way down the numerous hallways that made up the hospitals. Snow was still at Lightning's side, panicking still. Then they stopped in a brusque manner. Lightning looked up to see a blond man in a white coat, holding a ledger and pen. He shared a few quiet words with the two men, which made them run off, before introducing himself.

"Hello Miss Farron. I'm Doctor Lance and I'll be taking care of you from here on out. Can you walk at all ?" Lightning nodded and got up from the bed with head rush before stumbling over. Thankfully Snow caught her by the waist. He chuckled softly before offering a wheelchair to Light. She sat in it, pouting, as Snow pushed her. They followed the doctor to a private room. It was allot nicer than most of the other rooms in this ward. The hospital bed was fairly big, and their were a few additions to the decor. Doctor Lance told Snow to wait in here while he took Lightning for a scan.

The word scan scared Lightning. When her father was diagnosed with poison from Pulse, they took him for a scan. They found nothing until he died. Lightning knew hospitals were sometimes careless with their patients. She just hoped this wasn't one of those places.

He took her to a big room with lots of different machines. One big white container scared her. It was overflowing with different nobs and buttons. He placed her in the corner of the room and started fiddling around with a big screen. During this time, Lightning looked at the posters that were stuck to the light green walls. Most of them were warning people about some kind of blood disease. And the others were just precautions to take to lower the risk of these illness' happening.

"Miss Farron?" Lightning turned back to look at the doctor who had now turned on the giant cocoon look-a-like machine. A very bright Light was coming out of it. "Are you ready ?"

"Uh. I guess. What does this thing actually do ?" The doctor laughed at Lightning's nosiness. Most of the time the patients must of been unconscious when he did this, or at least that's what Lightning figured.

"It detects any, shall we say_, unwelcome_ bodies in your system. Now please wear these over your eyes. I heard you were having trouble seeing earlier ? Well blurry vision is better that being blind now isn't it ?" Lightning felt patronized. She put the black goggles on and let Doctor Lance lead her steadily to the Machine.

As he lay her down in it. She felt a warm feeling against her skin. And then as he shut it, Lightning couldn't hear anything. She felt like she'd been buried alive. Lightning wasn't claustrophobic, but tiny dark places aren't often very nice places. The doctor spoke to himself as the the warm light stopped shining. She tried to ask him if it was done, but her voice was covered by beeping noises. She lay there for another ten minutes as he restarted the scan. She began to get bored.

When he opened the casket, she gasped for air. All the oxygen in the tube was gone. He looked at her, a hint of confusion in his wrinkled features. He then placed her back in the wheelchair and took her back to join Snow. Once there she placed herself on the bed and Snow looked at her asking questions with only his eyes. Are you okay ?- I felt okay right, I didn't hurt ? Lightning nodded and smiled softly. They couldn't talk properly as the doctor was still in the room, examining the scans. He then lifted his head up from the piece of transparent paper and observed Lightning intently.

"Miss Farron, you're not currently in a relationship are you ?" Lightning's eyes widened, and Snow almost chocked. She shook her head quickly. Which made her feel worse.

"Have you been with anyone in, say, a month ?" Lightning knew it was wrong to lie, but nothing had stopped her yet. She thought her eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Snow just buried his head in one of the girly magazines they had in display, trying to hide his anxious expression.

"Nope." The doctor turned his head slightly, his eyebrows high on his head.

"Well correct me if I'm wrong, but, to have a child there normally has to be a man involved in your life."

As the words slipped out of his chapped lips, Lightning stopped breathing. At first she thought it was all a set up. But as she turned around to look at Snow she realized that this was reality. Snow had dropped the magazine on the floor and was now biting his bottom lip.

She looked up at Doctor Lance with a sour expression in her face.

"You mean I'm... I'm..." She put her hands over her face. Snow, who still hadn't moved turned his puzzling gaze across the room to Lightning.

"I'll leave you two to talk." And then the doctor left the room.

One angry sentence made it's way down the halls where numerous patients were being treated, reached the waiting room where injured cocoon citizens were awaiting their diagnosis, and out of the hospital.

"You arrogant, big-headed, insolent, _ugly _son of a b***h !"

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><p><em><strong>AN: Lightning pregnant ! Bet'cha didin't see that coming ! Well maybe you did, anyway don't forget to review to offer me some feedback.**_


	7. Futile persuasion

_I just want to start this chapter off by saying a big thank you to every one that's been reading and putting my story on alert. Even though the amount of hits I've currently got is nothing for some "big" writers on this site, it's given me the confidence to write my stories and actually feel proud about them. _

_Thank you all so much. Now on to the story._

_K11Lou xx_

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><p><em><strong>Futile Persuasion<strong>_

Snow stared vaguely out of the window as Lightning rampaged around the room, throwing insults at him every time she came up with one. She was furious. She wanted to hurt Snow so much. Lightning's voice became hoarse, so she went to sit down on the bed, and lowered the volume.

"How could you _do _this to me?" She flicked a hand in the direction of her stomach, before throwing herself down, her back hitting the hard mattress and her head falling limply off the other side. Snow turned around, his fists balled up slightly.

"_Me?_ Didn't you listen to "doctor stupid" ? It takes _two_ people Lightning !" Lightning rose quickly, giving herself yet another headache and slapped Snow.

"You're right, it does take to people !"Snow looked back at her, rubbing his cheek." One _man_ and an utter moron!" She'd started shouting again.

"Ugh."He turned back around to the window, but instead of staring out of it, he pressed his head up against it to cool himself down. "What do you want me to _do _?" Lightning thought long and hard about her response. She didn't know what words to use. She wanted a sentence that would cut his heart out.

"You can start by getting out of my life !" She was almost in tears as she spat the words at him. As she did, her stomach started to hurt, but she wasn't going to act weak in front of him, so she rejected the pain. Snow turned around slowly, his cheek now of a scarlet color, and looked at her confused.

"What? I don't understand you Lightning ! A couple of hours ago you would've done anything to be with me, and now you're telling me to go ? Wasn't it you who told me you loved me ?" Lightning wished she'd never spoke those words. Snow made his way to the door.

"Yeah well words are cheap. And Snow, so's birth control ." As she uttered that last phrase, Snow slammed the door and made his way out of the hospital.

As her heart filled with raged, Lightning lashed out on her surroundings. She kicked the table holding all the magazines and sent it flying to the other side of the room. Kicking the living daylights out of everything wasn't going to make things better, even if she did feel helpless. Every thing was going to go wrong from here on out. She wouldn't be able to do her job anymore, Serah would completely isolate her and all of her friends would be disgusted . He'd done this to her. She masked every feeling she'd ever had for him with hatred. She slid down the light yellow wall slowly, making her way to the ground. When she hit the cold floor she just let her emotions poor out.

As the tears fell, so did her heart. She could feel it drying up inside of her. She let out a few shrieks and slammed her foot against the ground numerous times. Just then, a knocking sound alerted her. She got up, wiped the tears that were streaming down her face, and opened the door to a loving friend. Frederic was standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his wet hands. As soon as she saw him, she immediately ran into him and started crying again. Frederic comforted her the best he could, placing his palm on the back of her head and hugging her. Lightning lifted her head up slightly and led Frederic inside by the hand. He looked around and laughed.

"It looks like a bomb's hit this place." Lightning turned around, placing the flowers on the bed, and put on a smile. Frederic noticed her fake expression. "What's wrong Light ?

"Everything." She stood there crossing her arms, the tears still making their way down her moist cheeks.

"It's nothing serious right ?" Lightning gaze was lost as she told her story to Frederic.

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><p>"Snow's the father ?" His jaw hit the floor. "Wow, did not see that coming. I thought it was just stress or som-."He stopped his sentence half way and stared at the ground for a minute, before looking back up at Lightning, who hadn't moved an inch. "Does Serah know ?" Lightning shook her head.<p>

"I don't know what I'm going to tell her." Lightning buried her face in the canary sheets of the bed. Frederic lay down next to her, rubbing her back, leaning on his elbow. After about quarter of an hour, the pair said their goodbyes. As soon as Frederic left, Lightning felt anxious again.

Why had she ever started the affair with Snow ? It brought nothing but pain to everyone she cared for. Fair enough, she felt a sense of security with Snow, and she even loved him, but that was so selfish. Lightning told herself over and over again that she was so _evil_, so _mean_ that she believed no one would ever find out, that it would soon stop, and that would be the end of it. She was so stupid. How could she have let that _idiot_ manipulate her so that she would believe she felt something. She was pretty sure that she had loved him, but there's such a thing as hypnotism. Lightning chuckled quietly at her pathetic excuses.

"Miss Farron ?" Light got up as soon as she saw the new nurse that had just arrived. Lightning deducted from her nametag that she was from the maternity ward. "I'd like to have a little chat with you about the baby. Mister Villiers is already waiting for us in the other room." She held a hand out to Lightning, who took it hesitantly. She didn't want to see him, but she needed to get this over with. As the nurse led her through the hospital, Lightning remarked all the other pregnant women in there. They were all bulging, looking like they were about to explode. They all had frantic partners who were running around every where, looking for another doctor to aid their wives. Lightning got shivers as she looked at all these people.

They arrived in a room that was fairly small. It held a light brown wooden desk, and a lot of posters with babies on them. Sitting in front of the small desk was Snow, trying to decipher one of the diagrames. Lightning sat in the other chair, looking away from Snow, who was trying to make eye contact with the mother of his child. The young nurse sat on the other side of the desk, and took a notepad out from one of the draws. She looked at them both and began asking questions.

"Okay, if you don't mind me asking, what is your relationship status ?" Lightning wanted to shout out _enemies,_ but held back since they were in a public place.

"He's my sister's fiance." The women looked back up at them, stunned. Lightning crossed her arms and look her straight in the eyes.

"Oh. Don't worry, we don't judge here." She smiled and tilted her head. Snow looked like he was about to be sick. " Have you had time to talk about how you going to raise the baby ? You know together or apa-" Lightning cut her off with a strict, harsh tone of voice.

"No baby, no family." Her phrase, if you could call it a phrase, didn't make much sense. They both looked at her, their expression dazed.

"Excuse me ?" The nurse looked at Lightning before going over her files once more.

"No baby. Look I've seen you do this before. Just get rid of it." Snow looked at Lightning wide-eyed.

"What ? Don't listen to her !" Snow grabbed Lightning's arm forcing her to look straight at him. She tried to avoid his eyes as much as possible. "Stop it Lightning !" Just as she was about to bite back, the nurse spoke up.

"That's impossible, I'm afraid it's too late. You'd have to be four weeks at maximum. "

Lightning escaped Snow's fierce grip and slammed her hands down on the table.

"Are you trying to tell me there's nothing you can do, _at all _?" Her eyes were filled with anger, piercing any sentiment of despair the young nurse had for these two. "That's.. no ! This can't be happening ! You've done this to me! It's all your fault !"


	8. You can't run from destiny

_**8-You can't hide from destiny.**_

When Lightning found herself getting up the next morning, she had yet another headache. Every part of her, be it mind or body, ached. She longed for someone to tell her that it was all just a dream and that she would one day wake, and find herself in a completely different world that contained no Snow and no baby.

As she sit on the bed, Lightning could feel tiny beads of sweat rolling down her forehead. There was constantly a nervous sentiment inside of her, it was apparent even when she slept. She placed her hands on her opposite arms and started hugging herself, trying in futility to heal her worries. Even when she managed to get a gentle state of mind, she would find herself looking down and staring at her stomach, almost willing it to leave her alone. She sat there for a good half hour, just contemplating the thought of a life without Snow. Abruptly, a ringing sound woke her from her wonderful alternate universe. She grabbed the phone that had been placed on her nightstand the previous evening, and was startled by a seemingly worried Frederic.

"Hey Light, I know it's your day off and all but we've got big, and I mean _big _problems down here. Please come in soon." Just as she was about to say something, the phone went dead. She was happy Frederic needed help, that way she could concentrate on her job and not have to be thinking about _it_ all the time.

She got ready and made her way to the base. She got there earlier than she'd expected. Frederic who was staring at the frosty ground saw Lightning and ran over to see her straight away. He hugged her gently, probably scared of damaging the thing. Once he'd let go, he looked her up and down a couple of times before nodding. Lightning followed her second-in-command inside where a group of researchers were anxiously awaiting her arrival. They all jumped as soon as they spotted the squad's boss and greeted her with stern voices. Lightning nodded at them, and then began running to catch up with Frederic.

He led her into the lab, where the best Guardian corps researcher was stationed. They made their way over to the computer, where the lean black haired man was studying a piece of footage. He turned around to see who it was, and shook Lightning's pale hand before returning to his work. Lightning looked at Frederic, her eyes doing all the talking.

"Oh right. Sorry. We've found some footage on some hostile L'cie." Lightning's gaze became lost in the white of the walls.

She didn't understand why this concerned her. When she had been promoted, she replaced the leader of Protence. The Protence was a completely different team than the Guardian Corps. They took care of Civilian protection. They dealt with the enemy in a more hands on way. They were fearless people who only cared about protecting their own. They had nothing to do with Falcie. Lightning wanted this job for two reasons. The first and the most obvious one would be the authority she had over all the other soldiers, including the PSICOM, as they were stationed under the Protence. The second was because she felt compassion for all the people who were going through the exact same thing that she had suffered, so having to hurt them was horrifying. Now that she found herself involved with them again, all the old feelings she had felt as a L'cie came flooding back.

As she waited with Frederic for the picture of the enemy to become clear, she found herself worrying yet again. She felt bad being at work when she would soon have to give up the job that she adored. She was positive someone would find out and then her life would change for good. It was so easy for the male soldiers. They didn't have to carry children around every where, they had wives at home who would care for them. Lightning felt sickened by the fact they had it so much easier than she did. She wouldn't even be able to continue her job once the _thing_ popped out of her. Once you've had one, you're no longer considered like a "young" person anymore.

"Lightning come and have a look at this." Lightning got up, stiffly, and made her way to the man in the white coat. She looked at the screen to see three people. One of them was a male who looked about thirty or so. He was very tall and was carrying a younger boy on his shoulders. The young one was the spit of the older L'cie. Lightning guessed he was the previous one's son. Accompanying them was a women, who was no older than Lightning herself. She looked very fragile. Her delicate figure was stumbling across the pulsian wilderness in an awful way. All three of them looked sick.

Frederic joined her swiftly after, looking over her shoulder at the L'cie in amazement. Lightning went to sit back down on the table and closed her eyes, trying to make sense of the new discovery.

"Do we know anything about them ? How long they've been L'cie for, where they came from, what relationship they have with one another ?" Lightning looked back up in despair for these people.

"Well we're guessing they come from a nearby village of Pulse. From their brands, we can deduct that they've been like this for two weeks give or take." Lightning shook her head softly.

"That means that there's only a week or two before they turn."

"Precisely, this also means that you're going to have to get down there quickly and eli-" Lightning jumped off the table. Her face was graced by an angry expression.

"What do you mean we're ? We don't handle this stuff." She glared at him, her pupils capable of piercing through walls. He took a step backwards, scared of her sudden cold glares and readjusted his glasses.

"Well, the guardian corps thinks it would be best if you were to... uh... take care of this matter, seeing as you've had, let's say, experience."

Lightning looked up to the ceiling and kept her gaze there for some time. She was being given important tasks that were impossible for her to complete considering her state. No one at the Protence knew this apart from Frederic. More lies were coming her way. What was she going to do when she started showing ? She couldn't cover it up forever. She didn't only care about hurting the baby, but the thought of killing innocent people made her feel disgusted at the hole army.

She left work late, as the researcher needed to discuss strategies with her. Frederic would be accompanying her in a couple of weeks to do it. The only thing worse than endangering yourself, is putting the people you care for in danger. Frederic hated his old job, that's the reason Lightning promoted him to her Beta. Lightning knew that in a few weeks, around the time that the mission was set to commence, she would start really showing sings of pregnancy.

She parked in her the downstairs garage, and made her way to her apartment. She opened the door to be greeted by someone she _really _didn't want to see. No, it wasn't Snow. in front of her was a delicate young women. Her pink hair was messed up from having ran all the way up the stairs. Serah looked at her through tears. Lightning took two steps forward and in doing so, made Serah turn around. Her fists were clinging onto the skin that covered her pale thighs in desperation. Her younger sister took a deep breath in.

"All I want to know is why you thought you would be able to get away with it." Her voice was shockingly soft and gentle. Lightning's eyes turned to the beige carpet.

"I never wanted to hurt you Serah I just... I couldn't keep away from him. It was like he was hypnotising me or something." She rubbed her forehead before softly touching Serah's back. "I am so sorry. But none of it matters anymore. Snow's going to raise it, he'll be out of our lives and so will it. It will be as if nothing ever happened." Serah span around, almost giving herself a light head, and grabbed Lightning's arm. Light could have easily pulled away, but she was curious to see where this was going.

"It won't go away Lightning. Snow won't just disappear." She placed Lightning's hand on the soldiers stomach and pushed it faintly. "_It_ won't go away."

Lightning felt as if Serah was beginning to act like the older sister. Despite the anger in her eyes, a gentle smile was painted across her face. Lightning was very suspicious of this.

"I don't understand. Isn't this normally the part where you start pulling my hair out ?" Lightning chuckled softly.

Serah looked at the ground still smiling, and reached out to grab her sister's hand. Once she had it firmly in her grip she looked back up, squinting her eyes. "Well, you forgave me all those years ago, didn't you..."

**A/N: Chapter 9 coming up, the story with the L'cie is going somewhere, trust me. Tell me what you think of this chap, and also what you're guessing Serah did a long time ago ! ^^**


	9. Flashback from the heart

**9-Flashback from the heart.**

It was over five years ago that Lightning's parents died.

She was around the age of sixteen. She was a happy teen, so full of life. She was always surrounded by friends. Genuine friends who would laugh at her jokes, and believe every word she uttered. Everybody was always envious of her. Her smile lit up the room, and her laughter boomed through the halls of life. She was an average student, more renowned for her beauty and personality than her grades. Like many of the other students at her high school, she loved school life, not because she learnt much, but because she finally felt like she fit in. There wasn't a single soul in that school that could say with confidence that it would be a better place without her.

Her home life was just as blissful as her school. Her parents were beautiful people, inside and out. They were always smiling, never showing any signs of worry or sadness. Maybe they were just pretending to lead a wonderful life, but Lightning could never tell. She believed, ever since she was young, that she was one of the luckiest people to grace Cocoon.

Her mother was a very peaceful women. She hated any talk of war or pain. Lightning could remember numerous times when she would have been watching the news and her mother would come and turn it off, proclaiming that she need not fill her head with the worries of the world. Her mother didn't work. She stayed at home, cleaning and cooking, since she found that it was the "right" way to bring up a family. She obeyed to any family tradition and tried to bring her children up with the same morals that she held in her heart. The graceful women always wanted her children to grow up happy, and seeing that they were both enjoying life to the full made her certain that she was doing right by them. She believed that her purpose in life was to aid these two young girls in life and make sure they would forever be happy. If only she knew the grave life's they would both lead from that point in time.

Now their father was always the playful one. He would often take Lightning and Serah down into the woods and play a game of hide and seek with them. Lightning grew out of this game by the age of eight, but Serah loved spending time with her father and continued going on these kind of trips for thirteen years. She was always the "daddy's girl". It's not that her father disliked Lightning, but as soon as she had matured enough, she would lock herself in her room for hours, just adding to the expense of the phone bill. He worked away allot since he was a real business man. Every time he would come home, he would drench the children in expensive toys and clothes. He could do so because, in exchange for his almost constant absence, they were very rich.

Serah, who plays an awful part in the tragedie that would forsake this loving family, was a very quiet child. She wasn't an attention seeker like her older sibling. She found comfort in the silence and would be at her happiest when she was alone. At school she was often referred to as being the "nerdy-type", which didn't make her very popular, but definitely made her parents ever so proud. They had big dreams for this young girl. They wished she would become a business tycoon just like her father, or that she would do as her mother wished, and become a teacher. Serah loved the idea of teaching young students. She would always take her dolls out into the blossoming garden and play school with them, that or she would read a six hundred page novel to her most loyal teddy bear.

I believe it was a very sunny day when it occurred. The sky was filled with an omnipresent ray of light, beaming down on to the glowing sands of Bodhum and filling the usually depressed drunks entering the bar at nine in the morning, with just a glimmer of hope for something more than the life they were leading. The mother, as usual, was the first to rise, she got up, trying in futility to wake her dormant husband, and headed downstairs to make breakfast. Lightning, who back then was known to all as Claire, would normally get up five minutes before she had to bike to school, but today she felt different. The reason being, was a young boy she'd met the previous evening. She'd made plans with him to meet up that night in the center of Bodhum. She'd never been out with a boy before so this was a very exiting day for her.

The Farrons ate breakfast together before the girls greeted their parents goodbye and headed off to school. It was a very uneventful day for both of the young Farron sisters. Test after test for Lightning, and the normal bullying regime for Serah, who had gotten used to the fact that nobody liked her.

Lightning left school a little later than she'd planned, as her English teacher told her off for her lack of concentration in class. As usual, the scolding entered one ear and came out of the other. She wanted to change into some normal clothes but didn't have the time, so she made her way into the center of the sprawling city of Bodhum in her school uniform. Her hair was tied up into a very messy ponytail and was blowing wildly in the warm wind that was moving against her as she sped to the meeting place on her bike. It was starting to get very dark and she wouldn't of been able to see if not from the luminous glow of orange coming from the south. She thought it weird but preferred not to go and check it out at risk of being late.

She arrived in the center of town and sat on a bench for an hour as she waited for her young boy friend to show up. Sadly he didn't. She then received a message from the young lad, claiming that he had "family issues". Lightning felt disgusted, and in a result didn't trust another man until she met Snow which was a long way away, in the distant future. As she hurried through the night to her home, she realized that as she sped faster and faster towards her house, that weird glow that lit up the sky from earlier was becoming more and more apparent. It now seemed that Lightning was headed towards it.

Her heart almost pounded out of her chest as she arrived a couple of meters from where she had been brought up. In front of the now darkened ruins that used to be such a blissful fantasy, were lots of people. They all stared in awe at the scene. Lightning ran through the thick crowds to reach a red barrier. She tried to get one of the firemen to talk to her but they were all taking care of a beautiful rosy haired girl, rapped up in a blanket. Lightning shouted out to her sister but wasn't heard over the mumbling of the crowd. Her heart then fell to the ground and below and she saw a stretcher carrying nothing but a black sac come out of the house.

She knocked the barrier down and made her way over to her sister. She kneeled down before her, her eyes filled with tears and her expression growing more and more worried. A couple of tall men tried to take her away, but Serah told them, through a shaky voice that it was her sister. She started asking her all these questions but Serah just looked away, seeming scared of the answers that she would have to provide sooner or later. A second stretcher carrying her beautiful bronze haired mother came out. She ran over to her and grabbed her hand.

The mother looked at her in a caring way even though she must have been in terrible pain, and spoke only three words. Wait for me. Lightning nodded as she softly let go of her mothers hand.

Two days after that awful night, Lightning found herself in a hospital by her mothers side. She knew it wouldn't be long before her mother would go to meet her father in the after-life. She tried not to look a her, so that she would have less memories of them but her mother was one of those people who you just couldn't ignore. Serah came in quietly not wanting to wake the graceful women who lay on the hospital bed. Lightning couldn't stop glaring at her. She knew it was stupid that Serah was blaming herself and that she also found comfort in blaming her , but it was just too easy to point the finger.

What had happened that night was very hard for Serah to tell. She'd told her story to the police, and the fireman, even some journalists. But the one person she dreaded having to tell it to was her older sister. She was so scared of Lightning hating her for life.

Serah had come home to find her parents arguing for the first time in knew that her parents had seen her come in the door, but they did nothing. They didn't stop their fight, nor did they try and pretend everything was fine for the sake of their daughter. They just kept on shouting. Serah couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened to make them this upset with one another. She was listening to the screaming for hours just trying to make sense of it all. She still didn't understand what was wrong. To this day no body knows what was happening in the parents' minds, or in their hearts.

Serah started writing down a letter to them. She asked them, using big words to make herself seem more mature, to stop the fighting and love each other again. She was writing it under a very old lamp, that could become very hot if left on for to long. She scribbled the final words of the letter down, and placed it on her bed. She lay next to it, hoping she could block the argument out of her head. Unfortunately for her, it was just all to loud. She then noticed that the window was just the right size for her to squeeze out of. The jump from the the second floor to the garden wasn't that far. She made her way to the medium sized window and opened it up to be greeted by a big gust of wind. She jumped, slightly hurting her ankle and walked down, limping all the way, to the end of the garden. She then shut herself in her father's old tool shed. As the sun set, Serah fell asleep, and as she did smoke started coming out of her room.

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><p><em><span>AN: There you go, that's why Serah's not being as much of a meanie as she should to Lightning. Chapter 10 coming up soon... I think. _

_I really enjoy any feedback ! Don't be shy ^^_


	10. Memories of a better time

_**10-Memories of a better time.**_

"No Serah !" Lightning released herself from Serah's faint grip. Her sister looked at her puzzled, her face no longer as gentle as it was before. The older Farron sister took a couple of steps back, not trying to show Serah her shocked expression at the newest revelation.

"What ? You don't want me to...to forgive you ?" She was softly shaking her head as she spoke, obviously trying to make sense of it all. Lightning continued to stare at the ground. A couple of tears started streaming down her face, and then she flicked her head up abruptly.

"No ! I don't. Every body's acting as if nothing happened, like I did nothing wrong ! But I did . I've done a terrible thing and, although I may not like it, I should pay the price for my actions!" She was almost shouting. The tears were still falling as she stormed off into her bedroom.

She lay on the bed, and began drying the tears with the pillow. The evening sunlight was cradling her beautiful and yet seemingly torn figure that was rolled up into a ball. The only thing she could now picture was her parents glorious faces. She hadn't thought about them this intently in years. She'd always tried to avoid talking about them with Serah. And now unfortunately, her little sister had accidently thrown all the painful memories back in her face. This was not the only reason for her sudden change of mood. Not only was she worried about the past, but also about the future that was heading straight towards her.

Behind the scrunching and the rubbing of material that was piled up in front of her face, she could also hear a very broken Serah outside, mumbling to herself. Lightning would go and check on her shortly but she wished to compose herself first. Being the big sister in her eyes meant not showing any sign of weakness and holding a strong apparatus. She was behaving recklessly but still couldn't stop the tears from falling. She sat back up on the bed, her breathing uneven and stared aimlessly out of the window. Her gaze met the wonderful view of a far off bodhum where she used to live. The wonderful sunset was hiding behind the sea, giving the water a beautiful golden color.

Lightning could remember a long time ago when she and Serah would go off and play near the water. They would have hours and hours of fun splashing around in the sea and playing with each other in the soft sand. These occasions were common during her childhood. Serah was her best friend and they would always go out at least once a week and be together. They shared every secret, even the ones that they wouldn't tell their mother. And now here Lightning was, blocking her sister out of her problems just so that she may appear strong. If she could tell her sister everything then why wasn't she confiding in her now ?

She stumbled over to the door, feeling like she weighed a Stone more than she should, and opened it up a tiny bit, to find Serah, sitting up against the wall. She was looking down at her palms which were almost shaking. As soon as she saw Lightning, who was looking flushed, she got up and opened the door fully. Lightning was greeted by a very tight Once Serah had let go, she led her into the bedroom by the hand, She sat down on the bed again and indicated Serah should do the same by patting the covers gently. Serah smiled and did so.

"Listen, I'm sorry and I know you aid you forgave me, but I don't want that." Her face was hard, but as she stared more and more into her sister eyes, it began to soften. As it did, she lost all the mental strength that was keeping her from crying. The drops of salt water hit the bed making a very faint noise.

"I don't understand why you want me to be angry with you ?" Serah's voice was very motherly. Her blue eyes could make the thickest wall of ice melt in an instant. Lightning covered her face with her hands.

"Because," She realized her voice was muffled so she removed her hands and let the sadness show once more."because that way I don't have to worry about this...this thing as much." Serah tilted her head, trying to seem annoyed, and stared at her sister stomach.

"Lightning, stop calling it a "_thing_". It's a living person inside of you." Her tone was quite harsh.

"No ! It's not ! It's nothing !" Her voice was very loud and she was sure they could hear it underneath her. She fell back on the bed in a comical way as her legs were starting to become numb, and groaned.

"Lightning !" Serah sounded authoritive. "What is wrong with you ! It's a baby ! Why is it so hard for you to accept that ?" Serah angrily stretched her hands upwards.

"It's wrong okay ! It's just not meant to be ! It came at the wrong time, I mean I'm still so young. And talk about not having it with the right person! It's just so...ugh!"The pillow that Lightning was lying on was now soaked.

"So what, you're just gonna give it up for adoption ?"

"No ! Of course not. Snow's going to raise it." At that moment Serah's eyes almost popped out of her head as she imagined Snow taking care of a baby all by him self.

"I guess you haven't told Snow this yet huh ?" Lightning didn't reply so Serah deducted the answer from that.

The night that followed their conversation was wonderful. Lightning and Serah were up all night looking at old photos of them as kids. It was the first time in months that Lightning could be around her sister comfortably, and not have to worry about a thing. It was like they were children again. They laughed at every little thing that was out of place. Lightning hadn't had so much fun since... Snow.

Speaking of Snow, Serah had recounted the "talk" she'd had with him a couple of days before. To use her own words, it was "intense". Apparently he'd come to see her as he couldn't pretend like every thing was fine. they were talking for hours about how he felt about Light. Serah was convinced that he wasn't just doing it to spite her and that it truly was love. Strangely Snow seemed discouraged when she started to speak about a future with Lightning. It was as if he knew things wouldn't work out, even though he wanted them to.

One thing that really caught Serah's attention though, was the story of the necklace. At first she thought he was kidding. But tonight she found out he wasn't. The stunning gold necklace that Lightning wore was actually Snow's mother's. It was the only thing he had of her's. He must of really loved her to offer her such a thing. When Lightning found out about the gift, she couldn't help but feel something for the big muscular oaf again. But, as usual, she denied herself these feelings. Serah didn't understand why, since she could now be with him forever.

Lightning is a very complicated women...

* * *

><p>AN: This chapter's pretty short because I just wanted to clear some things up before we dive deeper into the plot. ^^


	11. Hoping for something more

_**11-Hoping in futility.**_

It had been a very normal week, and a very normal day. Lightning got up as usual, skipped breakfast since she found it a waste of time, and hurried down the intertwining roads leading up to the base. Yes, her days had been very plain. That of course, was about to change. Although she missed the excitement that would spark the atmosphere at the most enjoyable of times, she found something comforting in the boredom that had swallowed her hole. Knowing that things were following their correct paths, with one tiny exception of course, was a way of reassuring herself that things would go right from here on out. Unfortunately for Lightning, life enjoyed toying with her. At times, she believed it amused itself by watching her suffer. The beginning of the end for this peaceful dream she had, started when she decided to stray from the natural course.

It wasn't anything major that had sparked her curiosity. She just wanted to try something different. What was the harm in that ? As she hurried down the bland grey pebbles that covered the route she took almost every day at ten in the morning, she noticed something different. Where there had once been a forest green colored hedge, there was now a deserted alleyway. She didn't see a reason not to go down it, as she figured it might have been a shortcut. She took a couple of steps down the dreary path when she heard something. It sounded like very heavy, uneven breathing. She thought nothing of it, until a shadowed figure appeared.

It was placed about twenty of meters away from her, so she couldn't get a very clear view. The shade coming from the old buildings that towered over the path had covered the person's body entirely by a threatening darkness, so that didn't help either. Lightning's heart began to race, as she thought about what her next move should be. She could run, but backing down from a possible fight was something that Lightning had never done. Or, she could wait to see who this mysterious silhouette turned out to be. Her curiosity once again got the better of her.

The shadow started making it's way towards her at an alarming pace. She'd expected it to come steadily, but it was walking fairly quickly. She stood there, readying her fists. He was a couple of meters away when she got a full view of him...and smell. He looked like a drunk, and definitely smelt like one. Curly locks of dark brown hair, covered him scared face, and his lean figure was taller than Lightning's by a couple of inches. He wasn't wielding any king of weapon, apart from a very dangerous apparatus.

Lightning swung her fist in his direction. He grabbed it, showing his agility, and twisted it. She could feel her skin becoming hot, it was as if he was burning her. As her face became screwed up from the pain, he smirked. She was still standing, but as his grip on her became more fierce,she gave in, her body slowly turning towards the ground. Her head hit the floor abruptly as he let go. His technique had obviously been very well thought out. He turned around and looked both ways, thinking that his prey was obviously unconscious. Unluckily for him, he didn't expect to jump on this fierce young women.

He had his back to her for only a few seconds, but in that time Lightning had thought out her entire plan, and succeeded. She placed her palms on the floor behind her head, and pushed on the ground. Her hole body was suddenly in mid-air. Her feet rested on his hunched back as she pushed him. Her over-whelming power and sent him flying into the cold brick-wall that was covered with aimless graffiti. An alarming noise made it's way down the damp ally. It was the sound of bones breaking and blood splattering on the ground.

He turned around, his hands covering his face, but still showing his evil beady eyes, and glared at her. Lightning returned the cold look. She sighed before taking a couple of steps into the light that was beaming from the entrance to a busy city. Just then, something grabbed her shoulders. He had slammed her into a metal garage door. A hot, fiery sensation made it's way up Lightning's spine. She let out a faint shriek, causing the bloodied man to smile, a twinkle of smugness in his eyes. Although the pain was unbearable, Lightning turned her head around to look at the blood stains that had covered her cream colored over-coat. A sarcastic smile tugged at her rosy lips.

"This was new." She stared at the man, who was still holding on to her.

He seemed puzzled, but the confused expression that reigned over his face was soon replaced with squinted eyes and pursed lips. He grabbed Lightning's neck releasing her shoulders and pinned her even harder to the metal. He then wielded a very old and rusty dagger, and placed it on her neck, slightly tugging at her pale skin.

"You chose the wrong day to piss me off lady !"His jaw was tight as he almost shouted the words. His voice suited his face perfectly. It was as if some one had blown him up with helium.

Lightning smiled deviously.

"Oh that's a shame. But would you mind killing me quickly, your breath is distracting."

Although her words were cocky, she had no idea how she would get herself out of this situation. She could feel the dagger almost seeping into her skin, and as it did a powerful shout came from the other side of the alleyway. It was a sound that Lightning could remember perfectly. The sound of so called "Hero". The trench-coat wearing man, came out of no-where like a boulder and pushed the dagger wielding scumbag a couple of feet from where Lightning had entered the darkness. He stared at the man that was now on the floor for an instant before taking Lightning's hand.

"We gotta go." His voice was comforting.

As they ran, they could hear footsteps following them. Lightning let go of Snow's hand and began running faster. The ally seemed to go on forever. She kept running, scared of looking behind, until she felt someone pull her from the side.

"Oh !" She then suddenly found herself in Snow's tight grip. His hands were locked around her waist. She looked up at him, blushing at his sudden actions. He was looking over her, probably trying to make sire the creep was gone.

Lightning's face was almost pressed up against Snow's warm chest. She wanted to burry her face in his blue vest, just as much as she wanted him to stroke her hair in a reassuring way, but a very large part of her just wouldn't let her sentimental side win. So she just stood there, her arms by her side, as Snow watched the darkness flow.

They were standing there for a couple of minutes until Snow finally realized he was still holding onto her. He let go quickly, startling Lightning, and rubbed the back of his head. As soon as his gloved palm touched his sunny locks he pulled it back and stared at the dark glove. Lightning tried to see what he was staring at but failed.

"Hey, what are you doing ?" Snow had spun her around abruptly and was now examining her back.

"Uh Light ?" He sounded hesitant. "You're kinda bleeding a tiny bit."

She placed her hand on her back and was greeted by a very wet substance. She pulled it back around and saw that her palm was covered by a faded crimson color .

Snow had accompanied her back home and was about ready to nurse her wounds. Lightning had told him to go, but he was adamant about helping her. She was sitting down on a dining room chair, holding up the back of her ripped top. Snow on the other hand was messing around in her kitchen, preparing his "equipment". Her arm began to get numb.

"Are you ready yet ?" Her voice sounded harsher than she'd intended it to. Lightning couldn't see him since the kitchen was behind her, but she could hear his footsteps making their way over the the ebony table. He sat down on another chair, sitting on it backwards and started caressing her back with a very wet piece of cloth.

As soon as his hands touched her skin, she could feel two very different sensations, One of them, was a stinging pain as the salty water seeped into the gash. The second one, the most powerful, was a sudden urge she had to turn around and kiss him. The muscles on her back had suddenly tensed up. She was hoping that Snow wouldn't notice so she decided to keep him distracted with a deep conversation.

" How did you know where I was ?" Her voice was broken, and her face was flushed. She wished that he would give a long answer to pass the time.

He laughed softly.

"Well I was shopping. Actually that reminds me I have to give you something. Anyway, I saw you and i saw him, cupping his nose. So I thought y'know, get a preemptive strike and all, so I made my way round the other side of the buildings. And just in time too."

"Yeah." Her voice was plucked by a gentle smile.

"Done !" He sounded pleased with his work.

Lightning let go of her brown turtleneck, and turned around. She stared intently into Snow's soft eyes, trying to talk to him via eye-contact. But this is Snow we're talking about. He simply stared at her, confused.

"Oh right !"

He then got off of his chair and ran into the living-room. Lightning simply chuckled silently and held the bridge of her nose inbetween her thumb and her finger. Snow came back in, holding two books. He held one of the two out to Lightning. On the cover of the light pink book, the title was written out in large black letters. "_A mommy's guide to pregnancy_." She got up, her heart heavy, and sighed.

"What's wrong ? If you want you can have the "Daddy's version" !" He laughed and held up his book.

Lightning took his hand gently, slowly and looked up into his eyes. She was suddenly lost in the beautiful blue color, that was glowing from his iris'. Snow looked at her seeming like he knew this was a bad sign. She could feel her eyes filling with water. her smile faded as she bit her bottom lip.

"Snow," Her voice was barely emitting a sound. "I don't want this. It 's _your's_ not mine. I can't be a "mommy", I just..."

Before she knew it, her face was buried into his chest... he was stroking her hair in a comforting way... her wish came true...

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><p>AN: Thank you for reading.

I'd just like to apologize for the poor quality of the previous chapter. I read it back and instantly knew it wasn't up to the same level of writing as the others are. Hope you liked this one better.

I just couldn't bare to see these two apart for so long, but knowing me, things aren't going to go well...

Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed.

Also... if you have any constructive criticism, praise or questions leave a review ! ^^


	12. Ash like snow

_**12-Ash like snow**_

Lightning was stunned at her hero's sudden actions. Why was he being so kind to her after all she'd said ? She couldn't understand how people could forgive and forget so quickly. Serah, Snow, they were both undeniably hurt by her words and yet their loving and gentle spirits found a way to live on, bypassing all possible hatred. Lightning on the other hand found it very hard to forgive people. She would hold on to the pain, the hurt, until it ate her alive at which point she would lash out on the people she cared for. It was like a never ending spiral of destruction. She would hurt the ones she cared for, and they would forget about it, which led Lightning to become frustrated and hurt them yet again. It was enough to make some small-minded individuals physically ill. But Lightning was strong, so she soldiered on.

One of Snow's hands was resting softly on her wounded back, and the other was holding her head to his broad chest. The point of his chin was placed on her light pink hair. He seemed to hold her perfectly in his arms. She loved being able to touch him, to breathe him in. She felt trapped, but never wanted to escape. She then realized that she was just standing there surrounded by him. She felt silly being near him and not hugging him back, but where was she supposed to place her hands ? They were just hanging by her side like rocks, motionless, dead. She brought the palms of her hands up to his chest and rested them upon his muscles. And as she did her breathing became uneven. She hoped he couldn't tell that he was the cause of this irritating reaction that had suddenly occurred when she touched him. She stared at her pink hands, for that was now the color they were turning, and slowly placed her forehead on them. There was no distance between them. At that moment in time, she felt merged with him. It was suffocating, yet absolutely glorious.

He kissed her hair gently, before speaking again. He spoke confidently, his voice calm, like he knew perfectly that everything would be all-right.

"Don't worry Light, I'm scared too. Hell, we're having a baby."Oh how she wished he would stop talking. "We'll get through this together, I promise."

She wanted him to know how she felt without having to tell him. If she did say it with words, she would lose him forever. That would be the one thing he could never forget. The only option she found herself having left was running. Running away from him, avoiding the conversation she would have to share with him soon.

She lifted her head up, startling Snow who let go of her, and looked down at the floor. She held back the tears, trying to avoid appearing upset.

"I have to go." Her voice was broken. All signs of comfort had disappeared from her features and all that was left was a very fragile, empty looking women. She walked past him slowly, the tips of her fingers brushing against his back and made her way out of the door.

She didn't know how he was going to lock up, and she didn't care. The only thing she wanted to do at that moment was escape the pain she would soon have to inflict on him. She ran down the stairs, her legs weak, her back aching, her head spinning and tiny balls of transparent desperation gliding through the self-inflicted wind that was making them slide off of her flushed cheeks. She stopped at the bottom of the staircase and looked back up. She breathed heavily, her breath slipping out through a broken frown, and wiped away the many tears that she'd let fall.

She sat in her car, which she hardly used and leaned against the steering wheel. Her mind was so messed up that she had no idea about where she was meant to be going. If she hadn't spotted her gunblade in the back seat, she would've never thought about going to work. She'd completely forgotten about the 'd been planning it for weeks. They had to go down to Pulse and eliminate some hostile L'cie. It wouldn't be easy, first off they had to pray that the gateway to the Ark in Eden was still open. After Vanille and Fang became Ragnarok, they almost destroyed it. There were only ruins left. Then they had to find their way through the Fifth Ark. After that, who knew what Gran Pulse had in store for them.

Lightning sped through Bodhum, her heart racing, her mind spinning. She was normally a pretty good driver, but since she was late, she pressed down hard on the accelerator. Thanks to her reckless driving, she arrived at the base in no time.

She parked hastily in front of the air force grounds and ran across the plane of concrete that had been soiled with diverse colored markings. She could see the airship that she had to board in the distance. Thankfully she'd calmed herself down so she could focus completely on the job at hand. She could see Frederic loading up the giant airship that looked extremely strong, accompanied by the pilot. It would only be the three of them going to Eden, and then solely Frederic and Lightning would go on to Pulse, that is, if they could make it in one piece. She ran out of breath a couple of meters from Frederic. She alerted him by shouting his name frantically through quick gasps of air.

Frederic, dressed from top to bottom with a very heavy looking grey armor, rolled his eyes before making his way over to Lightning, who was panting. He took her by the arm and dragged her away from the airship so that they wouldn't be overheard by a certain pilot. He let go of her, and, his face showing a glimmer of annoyance, started to speak in a very harsh voice that he probably used on Opal when she misbehaved.

"Go back. Now." He wouldn't make direct eye-contact with her, probably scared that if he did she'd punch him.

She squinted her eyes slightly. "What ?"

Frederic sighed heavily before pointing down towards her stomach. Lightning followed his finger with her pupils. When she finally realized at what he was pointing at, she couldn't help but feel a little bit nauseous. Even though she knew that something could go horribly wrong, it wasn't going to stop her from doing her job. She clipped Frederic around the head, destroying the perfect harmony of his light brown hair that was glowing in sun, and strode off towards the airship.

She got on it, and looked around. It sparked a few silent memories. Memories of harder times. Lightning and the others hadn't been the luckiest people when it came to air transport, so stepping onto one of these machines made her tremble slightly. The pilot prepared the aircraft, while Lightning and Frederic made themselves comfortable in the plush navy blue chairs.

The pilot made his way on to the giant aircraft and sat down in a very big seat that was surrounded by numerous buttons and control panels. Normally this kind of responsibility would have crippled any normal pilot, but he seemed calm. Maybe he was completely drunk. From what Lightning could see, he was pushing the same button repeatedly, while entering some kind of code into the navigation system. Suddenly he stopped and took the wheel in his palms.

The ship got off of the ground abruptly, it wasn't a smooth ride to the say the least. Lightning has gotten used to motion sickness, she'd learned how to deal with it. Frederic on the other hand looked seriously ill. He was sweating slightly and his finger-nails were plucking at a couple of navy threads that were part of the chair's composition. Lightning chuckled softly, trying not to make his situation worse, but looking at the normally cool soldier panicking in a mostly irrational way was hilarious to her. Frederic, still gripping on to the seat's arms, shot her an angry look.

"What ?" Although he seemed thoroughly terrified, Lightning still giggled childishly.

She rose a hand faintly, biting her bottom lip to stop her from blurting out more laughter and looked at her comrade, who was furious.

"N-nothing..."

Frederic looked at her, his eyes seemingly planning something devious, and greeted her with a sarcastic chuckle, mocking her kid-like attitude.

"I wonder if you'll still be laughing when you see what PSICOM's got for you..."

The joyful expression dissolved from Lightning's face, as a confused, and to be perfectly honest, scared expression reigned over her feminine features. She stared at him as he tilted his head sarcastically to one side, and pointed to the back of the aircraft. She yet again followed his hand and found herself staring at the bathroom.

She got up from her seat, curiously, and stumbled over to the tiny room at the back. She slid the door open, causing a screeching sound, and looked inside. In the perfectly white sink was quite a large grey box. She picked it up, noticing that there was something frightfully heavy inside, and began examining it. On one side of it was the PSICOM emblem, that always meant trouble wasn't too far away. She dug her nail into the tape that was locking whatever was inside away, and opened it hesitantly.

Her expression became dazed as she stared at the carefully folded PSICOM uniform. It wasn't the same as Frederic's. Her's held a mauve color to it whereas his was a very pale grey. She picked it up by the shoulder-pads, and looked at it. She'd seen what the female soldiers of PSICOM wore, and found their attire's atrocious. They were always tight and left little to the they were Eden she thought that they were just used as a way to stall the opposite sex, hypnotizing them slightly, not being used to protect the soldiers in them. She remembered how Sazh and Hope would stare at them during battle. It was very off-putting. Snow never stared at them in that way, probably not wanting to be beaten up by Light.

Lightning sighed heavily at this sight, causing Frederic to laugh uncontrollably. He knew this would tick her off, heck, he probably chose this uniform for her. Even though she really didn't want to, she figured that without her L'cie magic she would be extremely vulnerable on Pulse, so she slid inside the shell.

It wasn't really as heavy as the box had indicated. Sure it was a tad sexist, but at least it wasn't as skimpy as what the other PSICOM soldiers wore. It actually felt like it would hold up in a fight. Much to her dismay, she thought that Frederic had done well getting it for her. She placed her arms inside of it, and she was suddenly trapped in the purple ensemble. She reached behind her, her hand searching for the zip. She felt a tiny triangular metal shape at the base of her back swaying, so she tugged on it, pulling it upwards. It was stuck. She tried yanking it harder, but it wouldn't budge. She thought that maybe some material was stuck in it, stopping it from going all the way up, so she called out for help.

Frederic, who was still giggling like a little girl made his way over to the bathroom, his footsteps were in perfect harmony with one and another until he opened the door.

"Ah ! I see flesh." Lightning looked at him in the mirror. He'd shut his eyes like a big baby.

"It's just my back!" Her voice was portraying her frustration perfectly. She stomped on the floor angrily, harshly, causing Frederic to open his eyes abruptly.

"Oh, right." He rubbed his neck unknowingly as he stared at the bandage covering her back. "How'd you do that ?"

She simply coughed naively, and avoided the hole conversation. Frederic ignored the reason why and started pulling on the zip. He pulled up and down, shaking Lightning slightly as he did so.

"Ugh ! It won't go up. I don't understand it's in your size and all. Maybe you need to go a diet."

She flicked her foot back and kicked him in the leg, with led him to let out a faint groan. She knew for a fact that she hadn't put on weight. She was training more than ever, and sticking to a very strict diet. She thought long and hard about the reason why it didn't fit whilst Frederic swayed her before it suddenly hit her : it. She was pregnant, so she was obviously going to go up a dress size. She shook her head as her firm lips turned into a hard line. It wasn't going to stop her from doing her job. She pivoted her head around so that she could see Frederic a little bit.

"Just do up the straps." Her voice was weak. Frederic had obviously figured out what was the cause of her sudden lapse of confidence, as he spun her around and caught her in a tight grip. Lightning couldn't remember the last time she'd spoken to a man without him hugging her. Unlike many, Lightning didn't often use actions to express how she feels, so all of her loved ones comforting her with embraces was bizarre in her opinion

She didn't want to admit it to herself, but the hug didn't feel right without Snow being the other half of it. She'd gotten so used to having his muscled arms around her that Frederic seemed fragile in comparison. She loved the rush of emotion she would get when her Snow held her. It was almost like magic. With Frederic none of that was there. Just a plain embrace. Although it was reassuring, it wasn't the reassurance she desired, you could even say it was coming from the wrong person. She knew there was something wrong with her.

She never stopped wanting Snow, but when she finally had a tight grip on him, the only thing she felt like doing was escaping. She always wanted what she didn't possess, always craving solace, yet being afraid of winding up without the love she so sorely needs.

Frederic let go of her, and looked her up and down before smiling. Lightning couldn't help but smiling back.

" Don't worry Light, every thing's gonna be o-"

Suddenly something shook the airship. Every thing was flying from it's normal places, including Lightning. She was flung out of the bathroom, causing herself to bang into a hard metal wall. She rose quickly her instincts willing her to, and ran deeper into the aircraft. Tiny shards of glass stained with the vivid scarlet that was seeping from the pilot decorated the atrocious sight. She stumbled over to the body and was greeted by a terrifying discovery, other than the dead pilot. The control panel was bust. Something had smashed it entirely. Although her gaze had only crossed it quickly, she could see from the pink sky that they were on Pulse. Not only that, but they were falling down faster than light itself. She could hear Frederic loading up a gun or two from the back. Desperate groans made there way to Lightning who was considering what to do next. Before she could, something swept her off of her feet.

The warm wind fluttering against her face in an unappealing way made her open her eyes, which she'd decided to shut when she was no longer touching the ground. Not only was she falling through the pulsian sky, she was also being held by Frederic who seemed calm. He was holding two little gadgets. Lightning recognized them, they were landing devices. As soon as he realized they were half way through the sky, he gave one to her and let her go. Lightning gasped as she suddenly found herself free-falling through the salmon colored sky unaccompanied. This would have been so much easier if Bahamut were here. She couldn't see much apart from clouds. The ground was hidden behind their misty components which made it impossible to judge when she would have to trigger the device.

Fear was all she felt at that moment. Although it made her shake uncontrollably, it was also a thrill. It had been so long since she'd felt this exited. You could call it an adrenaline rush. All her senses were heightened, every thing became ten times more amazing.

Other than admiring the sky, Lightning watched Frederic intently. He was in front of her, diving headfirst into chaos. Lightning could see him fiddling with something. The landing system. The ground must have been closing in on them. She stared at the gadget and started pressing buttons randomly. None of them seemed to be working. Other than the intense fear that fled through her veins, frustration was now pumping through her heart. She just couldn't get it to work. She'd handled these things before, so she knew how to use one, but it wouldn't turn on. Frederic was already glowing a very pale blue as the electricity manipulated his body. Maybe he could help her.

She shouted out his name in desperation. If this didn't work then she would be in big trouble. He turned around abruptly, all the while keeping an eye on the pulsian ground. he spaced out his arms and legs, raising him further up into the pulsian clouds. She handed him her gadget which he then eyed up before throwing it.

"There's no time !" He grabbed her once again as they fell through the hell.

And then everything went hazy...

* * *

><p>Through a flutter of eyelashes Lightning could see a sparkling Cocoon above of her as it glowed in the darkness. She pushed herself up, so that she was resting on her elbows, and looked around. She definitely recognized the area. They must have been somewhere near the Yaschas massif, as giant flowers were flowing in the wind, and tiny pieces of grass flew around her. It had been too long since she'd been here, since she'd felt like this. It was like she was home, in the comfort of the sprawling nature and the wild and the untamed beats that were lurking around every corner. The melody of nature truly was bewildering to the soldier.<p>

Lightning stared up at Cocoon, diving deeper and deeper into it's seemingly never-ending beauty. The Cocoon she'd grown up on, the Cocoon she loved, the Cocoon that she had planned to spend the rest of her life on was nothing compared to the jaw-dropping glory of this sight. As her eyes traced the ripples of it's shell, she was one hundred percent sure that it was a different planet from the one she knew. How could a world so full with chaos, pain and most of the time sheer terror be inside the cracked shell that resembled paradise ? There was one more thing that made Lightning stare up in awe, the stars. They glistened, twinkled, sparkled, oblivious to the trauma's that were spread around the universe. Back on Cocoon, you could only see the stars in certain areas of the world, areas that Lightning would only dream of visiting. She didn't know exactly what they were. Some people, the ones that would shut themselves in memories of the past, would say they were Etro's tears that she would spill when her legacy was in danger. Of course there was a much more believable explanation for these miracles. The magical light emitted from the Falcie wouldn't just disappear, as some narrow-minded individuals would believe. Since it is a very heavy substance, it will slip out of Cocoon from the crack that was made during the War of Transgression. It makes it's way to the pulsian sky, and collects to form tiny balls of magic. These tiny crystal like beauties, combine the different Falcie's magic, and find only one way to live in peace with one another. Float.

It was on rare occasions that Lighting would think about that kind of stuff, but she felt inspired by Gran Pulse and all of it's beauty.

"I thought you were a gonner for a minute there."

Frederic, his slim figure shaded by the darkness was carefully examining his surroundings, his face filled with amazement. She was so glad Frederic was with her. He was one of the greatest friends you could ever acquire. His kind attitude towards the world was reassuring that there were some decent people in this life.

"We almost died didn't we." Lightning smiled a little before getting up and sitting next to Frederic.

"Wouldn't be the first time." His deep mauve crystals drifted over to meet hers.

"Hey! That's my line !"

Frederic snorted before turning his gaze back to the wilderness. Still focused on the darkness he replied, his voice calm.

"You should get some rest, you took a pretty bad hit to the head when we landed."

Now that he mentioned it, Lighting did feel somewhat light-headed. She walked over to where a blanket had been laid out, and placed herself on the hard ground. She closed her eyes, and focused completely on the sound of the soft breeze as she slowly slipped away.

Lightning's sleep was, as always, disturbed by the beautiful face of her love. Every night, she would gaze upon his features as she slept. She'd always believed that the reason for these frequent occurrences was because Snow hypnotizing her. Of course her theory was groundless. It was just a way of denying the fact that she was obsessed with this man. She loved him, she loved it when he would be kind to her, but she also adored it when he was cruel, although those occasions were rare. At the end of the day, as long she was near him she believed everything would be fine. If all she had was his love, his heart and his soul for the rest of eternity, it would be enough. She needn't worry about money, or friends. She knew all this, but still treated him badly. She played him like he was a game. Even though she did all this and hated it, she was sure that he would always forgive her.

Something suddenly started shaking her softly. She opened her eyes, and was greeted by a frantic Frederic holding a massif gun.

"Lightning get up. I went for a walk to check out the area and a spotted the l'cie in a nearby village not to far from here."

Before the news sunk in, Lightning was rubbing her eyes roughly as the blinding light hit her lids. Frederic woke her from her "coma" by placing a shot gun in her hand for extra protection, before leading her over to their targets by the hand.

The ran through the dusty plains of Oerba, admiring the seemingly crystallized surface. Frederic looked around in awe, staring at every thing he could, memorizing every color in the morning sky, every touch of the white dust, every scent of the drug-like pulsian air. It was nothing Lightning hadn't seen before, so to her, it was as casual as walking through Bodhum on a very rainy day. Although the scenery was normal to her, she was filled with a sentiment of nostalgia as she gazed upon the dead earth. It had been so long, too long, since she'd been here. She missed the chimes in the wind and the floating crystal shards. It was a truly fragile place.

Frederic was walking ahead of her, still hypnotized by the un-touched beauty of Oerba. Lightning was being prudent. L'cie weren't being's you wanted to cross, she knew that from experience. Suddenly something caught her attention.

Near the entrance of the village, where the Seekers and the Vampires used to roam, there was nothing. The L'cie were here, Frederic was right. She looked closer, some unknown instinct told her to. She didn't move but her vision suddenly crossed a tiny piece of flowing black hair, being moved by the wind from behind a pile of dust. They were headed straight for them.

"Frederic, look." Lightning was whispering trying not to alert their "hidden" targets.

He simply nodded, as the made their way closer and closer to them.

Lightning was more afraid than Frederic. She knew the kind of powers Pulse l'cie beheld. The spells she would cast could burn a hole straight threw her enemies, and the technique she used when holding her gunblade was more powerful than an entire army. They would either live to tell their epic tale to the world, or like so many other soldiers, they would fail in the face of something god-like.

Frederic crept up slowly to were they were hiding, Lighting following him closely. And then it began...

The sound of guns being fired could be heard all over Gran Pulse. Frederic shot the young women in the chest causing her to die quickly a quick gasp escaping her lips. They obviously hadn't been L'cie for very long, that or they stayed away from fights. The older man shot a couple of bolt's to the two young soldiers who narrowly avoided them. He then shouted the word "run" over and over again. And as he did a small young boy ran out from behind him and started galloping across Oerba, heading faster and faster near the village.

The man then started defending himself fairly well, using potions when needed and throwing a groundbreaking spell whenever he could. All though he seemed skilled, he was up against two of the best soldiers in the hole Protence division, which meant he didn't have a chance.

Frederic distracted him with a frag grenade, letting Lightning finish the job. She ran up to him quickly and stabbed him with her gunblade. She kept her eyes firmly shut, trying to avoid looking at his hardened face. Was this really what she'd turned into ? Killing someone she knows isn't posing any threat to the world, just so that she would get paid at the end of the day. When she could no longer feel his breath on her neck, she took her gunblade out of him, causing the L'cie to fall to the ground. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"Lightning !" Frederic was shouting at her. " I haven't got any more bullets left ! Kill the kid. Now !"

She spun around to try and target the young boy. Suddenly everything went white. The only thing she could see was the young boy, staring back at her from afar, tears strolling down his face, and then he smiled. She didn't understand why, he must of known what was coming, and yet he nodded at her, almost thanking her. She stared down at her gunblade and as she did, she pulled the trigger faintly.

Was this really what she'd resorted to ? Killing innocent children just because she'd been told to do it... Her heart filled with rage as she stared down at the young boys body from afar. So young, so naive. What had he ever done.

She was disgusted at herself. She couldn't hold onto it any longer. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she started repeatedly shooting at the boy's body. Why ? She didn't know. She was hoping that she'd run out of bullets sooner or later, but she didn't she couldn't stop. It was like she was possessed by something evil. She was going against everything she believed in.

"Lightning !" Frederic sounded upset, disgusted even. " Stop it Lightning ! He's dead. He's-"

Just as he about to finish his sentence, Lightning turned around. In the few seconds that flew by, her gun had returned to it's natural form. A blade.

And then, the sound of blood seeping into to the dust, staining it with a vivid crimson.

Red on white...

Blood on ash...

A mistake that would change her life forever...

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><p><em><strong>AN:**_ _Sorry every one for the long wait. I found it really hard to concentrate during the past two weeks, but I got it done... ! I really can't believe it's over 4.500 words, longest chapter I've ever written. Yay for me !  
><em>

_So what did you think ? If you've got any questions or suggestions, you know what to do, leave a review... Hey, that rimes ! XD_


	13. Fading Heartbeat Part 1

**A/N:** Little heads-up, this chapter will be in Frederic's POV. Every time I put one of those weird bar things in there it means that Frederic is in the past. It's short but I just wanted to get the first part of it out so badly. This will be a three part chapter so look out for the rest !

Also, I'm working on two other stories at the moment so I may take a while to get part 2 out. Sorry.**  
><strong>

_**Fading Heartbeat- Part 1**_

_Everything seemed to be fading away so quickly. A bright, dreamy glow blocked my vision of the real world as my life flashed slowly in front of my eyes. I could feel the sadness in their voices, listen to the sound of their tears as they stained their cheeks, notice the faintest gasp for air through their desperate last words to me..._

"Frederic. Please, I'm begging you, don't leave me. I need you, Opal needs you. You're too strong to...to...disappear..."

_Lucia, you suffered more than anyone I've ever met, and still you find a way of caring for me, for our niece. It is not I that is strong, my dear sister, but you... _

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><p>"What ?" Lucia stared down at her hands, and then her gaze drifted back up to the unexpected visitor.<p>

"I'm afraid we couldn't do anything for Gunther." The doctor seemed sincerely sorry.

I cannot remember a time more hurtful than that. When you hear all these people dying on the news, you think nothing of it. You never imagine it being your own brother that would one day be in the seat of tragedy. I seemed to be lost in that moment. My mind and soul were numb, both trying to make sense of what they'd witnessed.

The doctor turned to me, his eyes distant as he saw me break from inside. Lucia abruptly knocked against me, her tears moistening my jacket as her hands tugged at my shirt. Faint squeals escaped her red lips as she clung on to me more and more. And yet, I just stood there. I just didn't want to move, I couldn't. If I did then it would have to be real. It I just kept still, maybe I could've made myself believe that I was in a coma. But it wouldn't be right. I had to be there for my gentle copper-haired sister. I secured my arms around her and rested a cold cheek on her hair. Her breathing became faster, more desperate, as the doctor told us what had happened.

Gunther had been involved in a car crash the night before. As usual, he'd been drinking at his local bar with a couple of "friends". I knew that he had a drinking problem, after all he was renowned for his strong stomach even if his dashing and clean good looks said otherwise. He'd promised me two months before his death that he'd stopped, but he was obviously lying.

Ever since his wife, Jasmine, left him, he hadn't been the same person. There was always a part of me that believed that he would change back to his old self, not for me or his sister, but for his daughter. Although he was cruel to others, and more importantly himself, he loved Opal with all his heart, and would have done anything to make her happy.

It was on rare occasions that I'd visit him and my niece. Although I loved him as my brother, I loathed the man he was. Every time I looked at him, I was filled with disgust at what he was doing with his life. Gunther was so intelligent and yet he was throwing it all away. It was his mess of a life that convinced me to become something more than I was, to become more ambitious and follow my dreams. Ironic how he made me become a better person but took my success away just as easily.

That night, Lucia stayed with me in my tiny apartment. I didn't like the thought of her going home alone. She slept on the couch whilst I found solace in my bedroom. I can still remember the glow that was filling the sky with a very light sparkle on that night. It kept me awake, making me envious of any soul that could slip away into the darkness.

I lay on top of the sheets for ages, monitoring my breathing. I was almost playing a game with myself, seeing if it was possible for me to remain calm whilst thinking about my brother. Of course, I failed the self-inflicted test every time his face entered my thoughts.

The next morning I stumbled out of my bedroom over into the kitchen. From there I could see Lucia, who was curled up into a ball on the floor. I didn't want to think about why she was there, at risk of sparking some old memories, but seeing her silencing the wounds in her heart by hugging herself to sleep made me feel even more sorry for her than I already did.

I avoided food, since I felt sick enough already, and simply picked up the newspaper. Maybe in doing so I could shut myself away from _it _and engulf myself in other people's worries. I flicked through the mindless pages of celebrity gossip, and abruptly found myself in the obituaries. The next words I read sent a shiver flying down my spine.

_Gunther Shore_

Before I could read the rest of the line, I threw the newspaper and sent it flying into the window, causing the pages to glide around the room. Tears began moistening my eyes, drowning my irises in pain. I held them back, not wanting to engorge myself in self pity, when suddenly two violet eyes peaked up from the floor.

Lucia, wearing a pair of my old sweat pants and her red top from the day before, knelt down on the carpet and gazed up at me, before looking at the dissected newspaper. I sighed deeply, before raising my pupils to look at her.

"Did you sleep okay ?" My voice was surprisingly calm.

"Yeah." Her chords barely reached me. "I'm guessing that mom put it in there." She flicked her head in the direction of the paper that was scattered around my living room. " We should go and see her."

I'm often disturbed at how well she knows me. When we were kids, I used to think my little sister could read my mind. Sometimes I still do.

"That's what I was planning on doing, but..." I paused for a moment, not wanting to upset her with my decision." You're not coming with me."

Suddenly she rose from the floor and slapped her thigh in frustration, her eyes searching for my hidden gaze.

"Why ?"

I walked past her and made my way over to the door, opening it slightly.

"You know why..."

And with that, I made my way out of my apartment.

It didn't take me long to arrive at my mother's house. It was a very old house, built a long time before my parents were born. It's one of the few preserved living accommodations in Palumpolum. Everything else had been torn down and replaced with empty cardboard boxes, porting no meanings or memories whatsoever.

When I was child I used to envy all of my school friends, living in their modern houses with all the latest security gadgets and accessories. I was filled with embarrassment when they would ask to see my home, just thinking about their possible expressions when they looked at the large cracks in the walls and the dark, dampened patches on the ceiling made me cringe. In some way it did make my social life pretty atrocious, but I had my siblings to play with and, at that point in time, girls were the last thing on my mind.

My mother's car was parked in the crooked driveway, so I knew she was home. I walked down the grey pathway that was leading up to the gloomy house, avoiding every crack that added to the degraded look of the building that I'd once called home. The porch was intact, cream colored paint covering the wooden panels of the walls and blue shutters still capable of safely protecting anyone from the fierce rain.

I took a deep breath before ringing the golden doorbell.

My mother appeared suddenly at the doorway, her grey hair longer than I'd remembered it, and her skin even more dented. Her expression was dead as she gazed upon me. She snickered quietly before taking me in her arms.

"It's good to see you again Frederic." Her rough voice startled me slightly, she was obviously smoking again.

"Yeah..." That simple word was all I could manage. What else could I say to _her_.

She released me from her arms and ushered me through the door.

The inside of the house was just as old looking as the outside. The wallpaper was badly damaged by some black substance, and the carpet was piled with layer after layer of dust. I looked around never breaking my blank stare from the mess that had swallowed our family house.

"Fweddy !"

Suddenly Opal came booming down the stairs wearing an old hat. She toddled over to greet me, holding on firmly to her newest accessory. I picked my beautiful little niece up carefully and hugged her. Her cute little smile almost brought a tear to my eye. It probably meant that no one had told her the truth yet.

She removed the purple hat that was concealing her chubby pink cheeks and dark blue hair, and placed it loosely on my head. I put her back down on the floor and took off the very feminine hat. I crouched down firmly in front of her, staring into her hazel eyes.

"I think it looks better on you sweetie."

She smiled back before running off into the dining room, giggling as her yellow dress flapped in the breeze she'd made.

"What are you doing here ?" My mother's harsh chords called out from behind me.

"Were you the one that put the obituary in the newspaper ?" My eyes fell to the ground as she answered me.

"Yes, he didn't deserve it but... he was my son. You'll have to pay me back for that." She paused for an instant. "Have you told your father ?"

I spun around abruptly before glaring at her. How could she be so heartless. Her son, my brother, had just died and yet she didn't seem affected by it at all. On top of that, she thought that I would have gone and seen _him _!

" What ? You actually think I'd go and tell him about Gunther ?"

She cocked her head to the side quizzically for a minute, refusing to meet my burning look, and then flicked it back , sighing.

"Ugh. You actually believe her don't you ? Your pathetic, evil sister is nothing but a liar. I thought you were smart enough to the see that. Putting your father in prison like that, for no reason."

" No reason !" I couldn't control the anger as it spat out of me. " You and I have both seen the scars, the burn marks, the bruises. He's the one that's evil, abusing his own daughter !"


	14. Fading Heartbeat Part 2

A/N : I'm sorry that I haven't updated in an extremely long time, but I've been very preoccupied with school . It seems to be test after test at the moment, so concentrating on anything other than my education is "challenging". Also the last chapter was purely written so that I could explain future moments in the story that involve Lucia.

The writing at the beginning in Italics is Frederic.

Yes, I am aware that this is a very short chapter.

_**Fading Heartbeat-part 2.**_

_My heart, beating silently, faintly, started crumbling at the sound of more tears as they splashed onto the dusty floor of my room. Joining them was the harmonious sound of her voice. She'd been apologizing over and over, her words drowned by an uncontrollable sorrow that peaked when she uttered my name. Although I could not see her, I could feel her warm hands as they gripped onto my arm. They trembled when she realized how cold I was. A scream pierced every dying emotion in my delicate body as the beeping sound that had been proving I was still alive, slowly stopped. She- the strong confident women who had been hiding her true self for so long- would be the last to touch me._

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><p>The touch of his skin lingered on Lightning's fingers. Numerous times she'd kissed the tips of her delicate digits: a silent farewell to her dear ally. Although the thought of him burnt her mind and the vision of his face haunted her, she could not cry. Nothing but the large bags hanging under her blue eyes showed any remorse or regret. No emotions made themselves visible in her time of utmost weakness. She felt numb<p>

The young women had been siting outside on the balcony for what seemed like an eternity now. She stared vaguely at the world, her vision lost in the dark, dreary sky, as her hands locked tighter around themselves. Nothing could tear her away from this feeling she felt. The feeling of atrocious emptiness. Even though the thing growing ever bigger inside of her began showing itself, she felt dead.

She was sure that the sky was mocking her as the faint hazy glow of the stars became something of a miracle. Never had they shone like this. Thoughts swirled around in her mind. Maybe they were celebrating the life of a courageous and gentle young soldier. Or perhaps they simply adored lighting up the soldiers frail and lifeless figure, making her weakness ever more visible.

A large, steady and comforting hand suddenly rested her cold shoulder. The saddened soul to whom belonged the hand uttered no words. He simply stood there, making his presence known.

Lightning didn't flinch, not even when he rested his strong jaw on her head and began pressing his icy lips to her rosy hair.

"You must be cold." The words were barely audible as he hid his face in her messy, untamed locks.

The freezing breeze hadn't disturbed her any more than his presence. They both seemed comfortable and familiar, both unsurprising and unstartling, both directly related to her heart.

"Snow..." Her voice was but a whisper as she pronounced the name that meant so much to her.

She rose slowly from her chair and stood still, letting the wind gently caress her candid face.

Gazing persistently at him, she spoke, her chords confident, contrasting with her weak silhouette.

"I think it's time to hijack a funeral."


End file.
